Tired of Chasing.....

I try to be as positive and real as I can here. That said, I'm about to vent so if you'd rather skip this entry, feel free!

I've decided I'm tired of chasing everybody. I'm tired of being the one that initiates contact first in my friendships and I'm tired of having to "nudge" people to get them to check in.

I've noticed that a lot of people are bad at following up on situations. Say for instance, I tell someone a family member of mine has been sick, it annoys me that they never bother to check in later to ask how things are going, and only after I make contact with them after a few days do they ask.

I'm sick of people patronizing or humoring me and thinking I don't realize it. I want people in my life that care enough to hear what I'm not saying, that worry when they don't hear from me after awhile, I want equally balanced friendships.

I've been praying about this and asking God to give me the discernment I need to realize those friends that I have that are genuine, and those friendships that I need to let go. It'll be a difficult process, but it's one that needs to happen.

I'm finally at the point where I can say I really feel I deserve better, and I only want people in my life that want me in theirs. Any relationship is a two way street, and I'm finished making all of the first moves.

God grant me the strength to let go of those that I need to move away from, and help me hold on to those that are true and genuine, all the while remembering that YOU are the center of it all.

Amen

Heaven has gained an Angel....

My dear friend Keith Caldwell has passed away after a brave battle with cancer.

I wrote an entry about Keith HERE a few years ago. He was an inspiration and I'm heartbroken that he is no longer here with us, and I'm sad for the people that never got to know him like I did.

I remember sending him an e-mail in college asking for advice for my performance of literature class and a particularly difficult piece I was going to have to perform. One of his key pieces of advice: "Remember to breathe...." it's now advice that I have fallen back on these last few days as I've dealt with his passing.

I know however that our goodbye is not a permanent one and that we will meet again one day. I smile knowing he has fought the food fight, his race is finished, and he is now TOTALLY HEALED!

Keith will be greatly missed here and the world is a darker place without him in it, but the things he is a part of now in Heaven....WOW!

Rest in peace, sweet friend. Until we meet again...Shine on!

Prayers for Keith's loved ones would be appreciated. Thanks!

She's Here!!!

My amazing friend, Liz and her husband DK welcomed their baby girl, Jordan Leigh into the world Sunday afternoon!

I won't post a picture without their consent, but I'm sure Liz will post some on her blog soon. Until then, take my word for it....Jordan is BEAUTIFUL!

Welcome to the world, sweet Jordan and a huge congratulations to Liz and DK. Thrilled beyond words for you guys and know God has and will continue to bless you! Praying for you always and love you all so much!

A Special Delivery!

After the Royal Wedding, People Magazine announced that it would be doing a special issue all about the big event. It was said to hit newsstands this last Monday and since I'm no longer a subscriber, a mad hunt was on whenever anybody I knew was going to any store. Nobody could find it anywhere!

Fast forward to today. Just being me, I posted a status on FB saying, "WANTED" With a picture of the cover of the magazine. Alexis had early release from school today and Austin stayed home sick so after I posted it, I didn't give it much thought.

We were on our way to pick up a pizza after getting Alexis from school when I got a text message from one of the two guys in my life that I consider to be my big brothers (the reason why is for another post, on another day). We hadn't talked in close to a month because life has gotten insane for both of us. His text asked what I was up to and if I had found my People Magazine yet. I responded with a laugh and a "No! I can't find it anywhere!"

Two hours later, Mom's at the store, Austin has been picked up for a doctor's appointment, and Lexi is in the living room watching T.V. when I get another text:

Him: Where are you?

Me: Home. Why?

Him: Stay there.

A few minutes later, my doorbell rings. I open the door to find him standing there with a grin on his face. After a hug, he says,"Here ya go, hotshot!" and presents me with the People Magazine I had been searching for! After stunned thank you's, another round of hugs, he headed back to work!

And I was left with my mouth hanging open and Lexi firing question after question at me about who the guy was and how I knew him, (along with having to explain to her that "No, just because we said "love you" to each other as he left, does not mean we dated." LOL!) About a minute after he left, I got another text:

Him: "That's cause you're awesome...."

There are people in my life that tell me a lot of things, today someone not only told me, but showed me as well, with a very special royal delivery!

My KSBJ 2010 Sharathon Experience!

I wasn't able to physically be there to answer phones or volunteer in other ways for KSBJ Sharathon 2010, believe me, if I could have, I would have!

HOWEVER, I feel like I HAVE been. I've had a browser open since Wednesday with KSBJ's web cam up showing phone central watching the DJ's and volunteers doing their thing, I have twittered and Facebooked about it almost constantly (and gained some new followers....*waves*) trying MY best to get the word out and hopefully get more people to give.

What I think is the most significant part of this for me though was that I gave....For the first time.

I've been a KSBJ listener since Amanda Carroll was the afternoon host. She was the host I first heard when I first found KSBJ years ago, however, I've always just kinda felt like "just another listener..." and never really felt like A PART of the KSBJ family.

All that changed this year as my friendship with Liz Jordan grew and a new friendship formed between myself and Bill Ingram. Those two people have made me feel like a REAL part of their lives and in turn, a part of the radio station....As I was praying about giving, it wasn't even a real debate...How could I NOT give? For the first time, I REALLY feel like part of the KSBJ family and it's a wonderful feeling!

KSBJ met their monthly Operations Goal Friday morning at 8:42 a.m. and met their Impact Initiatives Goal at 1:08 p.m. this afternoon! It was INCREDIBLE to be watching the web cam when both goals were met!

To everyone at KSBJ....THANK YOU for everything you do to minister all across the world! I know these last three days were exhausting but you ALL did an INCREDIBLE job! To the volunteers, THANK YOU for giving of your time to help make Sharathon possible! And to the givers, THANK YOU for giving....For taking that step of faith, for stepping out of the boat and taking that step...BELIEVING that God will be there, that the funds will be there! THANK YOU for trusting HIM! And to God, whom ALL of this was for and about....THANK YOU. For Your blessings, Your Faithfulness, Your protection, For all of the INCREDIBLE things that you have done, are doing, and WILL do through KSBJ. All glory and praise goes to YOU. We love You SO much and are SO thankful!

And all God's people said....AMEN!

Please Vote For My Friend!

My friend Christi is a (positive) entertainment reporter in Florida. She is one of many auditioning to get her own talk show on Oprah's network! Christi has been a constant source of encouragement to me the past several years and I think her positive outlook is EXACTLY what's needed on t.v. today!

Please go vote for Christi HERE!!!

On behalf of Christi and myself....THANK YOU!

Update on Prayer Requests....

Here's an update to the prayer requests I mentioned in the post below:

My friend Katy:
Katy will be having surgery tomorrow (Friday, June 4th) to fix her back problems and (hopefully) this will rid her of the pain she's been having. Please pray for her tomorrow and in the days ahead as she recovers.

Lexi's State Tournament:
Once again. I'll let my sister's e-mail cover this one!

Good Morning-
I just wanted to send an update on the State Tournament Alexis and her team played in this weekend...

HUNTSVILLE PINK STARS placed 4TH IN THE TEXAS TOURNAMENT!!!!!

The Huntsville Pink Stars made history this weekend for the Huntsville Girls Softball Association. I failed to mention in the first email that this was the first time in HGSA history that any team has traveled to state much less finished in the top five. Our girls battled thru heat, rain, bumps, bruises, sore feet and hunger and did an outstanding job. We could not be more proud of our girls and the way they handled this crazy weekend. Huntsville Stars were also the only team still standing in our district which is a huge accomplishment.

I must also brag on her brother, Austin was such a trooper. He cheered for each one of the girls and supported the girls the best way a "proud" three year knows how!!

I want to Thank ALL of you for your prayers, support and love you have sent Alexis' way. She is truly Blessed to have such a loving Church family, friends and family members. We LOVE you all!!!

Once again, thank you ALL for your prayers for my friends and family! God listens!

An Incredible Day for Liz and DK....And Me Too!

I met one of my biggest inspirations today....And it was the biggest day of HER life! I was honored and humbled to receive an invitation to Liz Jordan's wedding that took place today!

I was REALLY nervous about going by myself because I wasn't sure how accessible things would be for my walker and I didn't know anyone but Liz. However, as always, God showed up and the ceremony location was flat and I was able to walk right to a chair (it was on the groom's side, but that's alright...I love DK too!). There was a ramp leading right to where the reception was held. I didn't see one single step....Thank You, Lord!

The ceremony was beautiful...I teared up watching Liz walk down the aisle with her Dad and as she and DK joined hands...The look on her face...Made me cry again! I'm sure DK's face was equally as priceless, but because I was sitting on the groom's side, I was able to see Liz's face more clearly than his....Perhaps this was another fingerprint of God. It was incredible watching them pledge their love to each other and seeing the love they have for one another and the Lord so clearly reflected throughout the ceremony.

After the ceremony was finished, I easily made my way to the reception area and found a chair to sit and wait. I mingled with a few people. I saw Susan O'Donnell, Mike and Becky Kankelfritz along with their two precious kids, Abby Grace and Sam. I never talked to them but Susan did say hello to me as she was leaving and I said hi back but she didn't know who I was. Becky brought Sam over to talk with some people sitting around me and we exchanged hello's. Sam was SO ADORABLE! I saw Bill Ingram several times (he knew I was coming because we talked about it via Facebook) but he always looked like he was doing something important every time I saw him so I hated to bother him by saying hello. I did manage a wave at him as I was leaving the reception, but I doubt he knew it was me.

I finally saw what I thought was a good time to go and say hello to Liz. I was unsure of how to go about it because I didn't know if Liz would know who I was or even remember that she had invited me (I know the guest list was not currently on her mind) So I was trying to figure out how to tell her who I was..."Hi...I'm Natalie..." or "I'm Natalie....Congratulations...." As I made my way to her I was still trying to decide which approach to use. Liz took care of that for me....As soon as she saw me she instantly came over and hugged me and said, "Natalie, I'm so glad you're here...." I had a huge lump in my throat the entire time we talked. She introduced me to DK and the three of us talked briefly. I was very aware that so many people wanted time with her so I tried not to keep them very long. Once we finished, I didn't stay very much longer because I knew we had a bit of a drive to get back home so I called Dad to let him know I was ready and they came and picked me up. As I was leaving, DK and Liz were about to have their first dance as husband and wife.

I can honestly say meeting Liz in person FINALLY was incredible! I've shared so much with her and she means SO much to me that getting to share such an important time with her meant more to me than I could ever express. I know there were/are a lot of people that love Liz and DK and so to be invited to actually BE there to SEE them get married...I'm still wowed by that fact and feel so honored that they thought enough of me to want me there. It would have been easy for them to say, we can always meet Natalie at a KSBJ special events concert, but to ask me to be there....on their WEDDING DAY....It makes me teary just typing it. Wow.

God was totally present even before today. How you ask? Well, the date of their wedding was a total God thing. Every other weekend of this month is taken so had it been any other time this month, I wouldn't have been able to be there.

I have only three regrets: 1) I meant to sign the guest book before I left and forgot. 2) I sat down for the ceremony and forgot to get a program and 3 (and probably the biggest regret of all) I was hoping to get a picture with Liz using my iphone but I hated to ask and there were people waiting to talk to her so I didn't get a picture with her. :( I actually didn't get ANY pictures because the glare was so bad on my phone that I couldn't get any. I'm disappointed I don't have one with her though, but I'm sure there will be other chances down the road.

I'll never forget today. I know I've said it before but Liz is a HUGE part of my life and it's amazing to see how God lined everything up in our friendship so that this moment could take place on this day. I'm so thankful to have finally met the person I often call "my second sister." and to have met DK who loves and adores her the way she deserves to be loved!

Congratulations, Liz and DK! I'm beyond thankful to have been able to be a part of this day with the two of you. It meant more than you know. I look forward to continuing our journey as friends and continue to pray for you both daily and be thankful that God brought you into my life! You mean more to me than you will ever know and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for both of you as husband and wife! Love you guys!

Cotton Candy Jelly Beans

I woke up this morning with a massive craving for cotton candy jelly beans. They are my FAVORITE kind of candy and the candy store that used to have them near here went out of business. I was giddy when I found some while on our Colorado trip last year and bought a ridiculous amount to bring home (really, it was an INSANE amount). So when I woke up this morning wanting some, I lay in bed wondering where I might could find some but my mind soon moved on to other things.

My Mom brought in the mail today which contained a box for me. The box looked as though it had been through war and whatever was inside the box sounded like it was in worse shape. I opened the box slowly over a trash can so that whatever had broken wouldn't get all over the floor. I peeked inside and saw a bag of my beloved cotton candy jelly beans!! With them was a note my friend in Colorado saying that she knew I'd had a hard week and she hoped this would help!

I have the BEST FRIENDS!!!!

Thank you, Di for the sweet surprise and for constantly having my back! You rock my wheels!

Liz Jordan's LIVE Proposal

So I told you in December about Liz Jordan's live on air marriage proposal. Well, now you can SEE it! Scroll down and pause the music first!



And yes, I bawled like a baby when I watched it this morning! Felt like I was watching a second sister get engaged. Love her so much!

Please continue to pray for Liz and DK as they plan their May 1, 2010 wedding day! :)

Congratulations, Liz!

My amazing friend and sister in Christ, Liz Jordan just got engaged this afternoon LIVE ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!! I missed the live proposal but Liz posted about it on her facebook and I cried just reading it then KSBJ played the proposal again a few minutes later (I e-mailed them and begged....I don't think they did it JUST because of me though...LOL) and HEARING it made me cry AGAIN! It was INCREDIBLE and SO sweet!

Those of you that read this blog know how much Liz means to me because I talk about her often on here. So needless to day, I'm BEYOND thrilled for her! I seriously can't stop smiling!

Please keep Liz and her fiancee DK in your prayers as they ready themselves to take this next step.

And Liz, CONGRATULATIONS!!! Words do little to express how happy I am for you! I'm praying for you and know God's blessings will continue to pour on both of you. I love you so much! :)

Thanks for Praying!

Thanks for all of the prayers for Amanda and Mark! I had an e-mail from Mark waiting for me when I logged on just a few minutes ago...Taylor Marie arrived today (the 29th) at 12:30 pm. He wrote that Amanda and Taylor are both doing well!

That's all I know right now. I'm sure more will be posted on their blog as soon as they are able! Thank you all again for your prayers and please keep praying for them as Amanda recovers and the new family of the adjusts to everything!

Thank You dear Lord for this precious new life! Please continue holding her and her parents in Your Arms and may Your presence be felt daily as you walk beside each of them. Thank You for the awesome plans you have in store for Taylor and Amanda and Mark as they grow together with You in the center of their lives! I ask all of this in Your Name. Amen.

Prayer Request For A Friend

Please be in prayer for one of my closest friends, Amanda and her husband, Mark tomorrow (Tuesday, the 28th). Amanda is scheduled to be induced tomorrow night to welcome their first child!

Amanda and my sister, Kimberly were best friends for years and for so much of their friendship, I was simply part of the deal as Kimberly's younger sister. Amanda and I just grew close because we were together so much. She is, in many ways, like another sister to me. She's an incredible woman of God and such an encouragement to me in my own walk with Christ as she prays for me and believes FOR me when I simply can't. I'm so blessed to have her in my life.

Amanda and Mark have been on quite a journey. Feel free to read about it on their blog. You will be encouraged and touched, I promise!

Please pray for them as they go into the hospital. Pray for the labor and delivery to go smoothly for everyone, and pray for the doctors and nurses who will be caring for them. Pray for strength, peace and protection over Amanda. Pray for Mark, that he will be able to be there in the ways Amanda needs him to be And pray that baby Taylor arrives healthy and safely!

Thanks in advance for your prayers!

Princess Party of Two....

Sally and I met in first grade. The first time I got to spend the night at someone's house, it was hers. She was my first best friend, the one I spent hours playing "Princess" with at every overnight stay from then on. the first person the person I called when Dennis (my first youth minister) left and I she was the only one who could understand me through my sobs. She was one of two friends I wanted there when I got baptized at my church, and she was one of my first visitors after every single surgery, even coming with my sister to visit me while I was still in the hospital and then stopping for another visit after I got home. We were in chior together, theater together, and our faith in Christ grew...together.

I was honored to have a part in her wedding as a member of her house party when she married the man of her dreams in December of 2004 and as I sat in the pew watching her pledge her love in her gorgeous white wedding dress, I thought of how fitting it was because the girl I had spent so much time pretending to be princesses with was TRULY a princess on that day!

We are not as close now as we were in the early years of our friendship. Life has taken us in different directions, to different interests, but she will always hold a part of my heart that no one else will because she was and always will be my first best friend. And I will always love her dearly.

And it is with tears in my eyes that I write that our Princess Party is now a party of THREE today as Sally and Wade welcomed Sophie Catherine into the world this morning!

Welcome to the world Princess Sophie! Can't wait to meet you!

Katy and Melissa are Home!

Many of you have been praying for my friend's Katy and Melissa who have been in Rwanda for the past seven weeks.

I am thrilled to tell you that they returned home last night and are now I'm sure catching up on some much needed rest and spending time with their families.

Please go read Katy and Melissa's journey as they have it chronicled in their blogs. I promise, you'll be blessed as you read about the work God did in their lives as well as in the lives of those they came in contact with. Please continue to pray for both of them as they now have time to really reflect on their trip and what God revealed to them.

Also, please say some extra prayers for Katy as she is having back surgery tomorrow (Friday). Please pray that God ease her anxiety and that His spirit surrounds the surgeons and the operating room and that God be with Katy's parents Carol and Bill and Katy's sister Abbey as they wait during the operation. And please pray for a speedy recovery so that Katy can be ready to go when classes resume for her on August 25th. Thank you so much!

I know Katy and Melissa really appreciate those of you that have lifted them up daily. God has changed lives forever because of them and He's got even more amazing things in store for both of them!

Welcome home, Katy and Melissa! Thanks for representing Him in such an incredible way!

Another Prayer Request

I just added another blog link for Katy's blog in Rwanda. She's with Melissa (see previous "prayer request" a few posts below) and they are both going to be serving in Rwanda for the next seven weeks! Please visit Katy's blog as well and pray for her when you pray for Melissa.

I practically watched Katy grow up...It's amazing to see the young woman she has become with a heart that's on fire for God.

God has two incredible servants in Katy and Melissa. Please continue to pray for them (and their families...parents worry about their kids) and visit their blogs to see what they are up to and what God is doing and to encourage them. I'm sure they'd love to know that so many people back home are praying for them!

Prayer Request

A friend of mine is leaving for Rwanda on Monday morning. She went last summer as well and did SO MUCH good and I can just tell by the way she writes about it how much she is ready to go back.

Melissa and I grew up together. We stayed with the same baby-sitter for years and while we are not as close as we used to be, I know that if I were ever in trouble and needed prayer, Melissa is definitely someone I know would be down on her knees in an instant to intercede for me. She has an INCREDIBLE heart for God and the people of Rwanda. She loves God with a bold love and this is a deep passion of hers. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that God is going to use her in incredible ways this summer just as He did last summer!

I have put a link to her blog on the right. Visit there to get some specific ways on what you can pray for as they head out to be a Light for our Creator to people that are thirsting for Him and His love. Melissa will be His Hands, Feet and loving Arms to people!!!

Melissa, I love you and I know many people will be praying for you and Katy as you go and do what God has laid on your heart!