The Dempsey Challenge...I Need YOUR help!

I have signed up to help raise money for The Dempsey Challenge. Obviously, I won't be able to physically participate in the riding, walking or running but I CAN make an effort to raise money for this cause.

This is a great opportunity for me to have the chance to "pay it forward" as I've talked about and in a way, try and say thank you by giving to this great cause! I've talked a lot about how my dream of meeting Patrick Dempsey is a tough dream because I can't do much to actually work toward that. THIS however, is something I can work toward...I need YOUR help though!

If you can and are willing, please go to my personal donation page by clicking HERE and making a donation of your choice. Big or small, EVERY donation counts and matters. Then, spread the word for me! If you have people you think might be willing to donate to my goal, please send them the link. All of the money raised goes to The Patrick Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope and Healing.

Please consider giving. You'll help me reach my goal and also be giving to people fighting cancer and helping them WIN the fight!

I sincerely appreciate ANY donations made! Thank you in advance for your support!

A Long Time Coming...

Grey's Anatomy debuted on March 27, 2005. On the night before the four year mark, we have a VERY good reason to celebrate!




Yes, I'm STILL grinning!

If you look closely as she walks into the elevator, on the left side of the back wall, I believe there are pictures from their bubble bath scene in season three! A FABULOUS scene. And I'm SO glad the scruff was shaved! Amazing, incredible. wonderful job by Patrick and Ellen. Very clever idea...Very unique, very intimate, very them....Because we know, after five seasons....They have their BEST moments in elevators!

My apologies to Kimberly who told me via text that her ears were still ringing because she heard my squeals of excitement at her house. I squealed, I cried (from the time the elevator doors opened until the next scene) I laughed, and I enjoyed. What a pay off!

Thank you writers for the walk you gave us down memory lane during the scene, for staying true to the characters of both Meredith and Derek by not making the proposal over the top but writing it to fit them perfectly. Thank you Shonda, for FINALLY giving us this moment, "Together for good" just got better! Thank you Patrick and Ellen, for fighting for the couple to be together, for fighting for the integrity of your characters both together and apart, and for making us fall in love with Derek and Meredith by the way each of you portray them. Thank you for wanting them together as much as the fans did. Fabulous job...All the way around! Can't wait until the wedding!

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Eight

It's time to let go. I'm starting to believe that perhaps my dream of thanking Patrick in person is that that...MY dream. Perhaps I thought it was God's desire for me as well because that was the only way to make sense out of wanting it so badly.

I know time is never wasted in prayer but I have to wonder what is going through God's mind as He listens to me ask him for this over and over all the while knowing it's never going to happen. If this dream is truly meant to happen, God will make a way. I'm tired of feeling like just another crazy fan. I give up. I surrender. I wish Patrick the best.

For the remainder of the thirty days I will be praying that God will awaken new dreams that I can actually work toward (you can't really work toward meeting someone...You could, but it probably seems a bit stalkerish and I'm betting a few people probably feel that way about me right now anyway). I pray that He will show me what I'm good at and what I might can do in terms of the talents He has given me and how to put those to use in a job of some sort.

Please continue to pray with me.

Picture Tag

I was tagged by Crysbena to do this fun picture tag... :)

Here are the rules:
1. Find your sixth picture folder and in that folder, the sixth picture.
2. Post it on your blog with some of the background of the picture.
3. Tag four others and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.

Here is me and my precious nephew, Austin taken last year right around this time of year...A few weeks before Easter! We were reading together and my Mom just happened to get this great shot of the two of us looking at the camera! He's definitely my Prince Charming! :)


Now, I tag: Amanda, Liz, Taylor, and Jeremy.

Doubt, Fear, Faith

Here's what I'm learning....

I know faith is all about trusting what you do not see. I know it's all about believing and trusting God and all that. I have no problem with trusting God. It's MYSELF that I don't trust.

I know God is revealing Himself to me all the time and giving me direction, I just don't trust that I hear Him correctly or do things the way He intends. I've got this fear in the back of my mind that when I get to Heaven, God will tell me that I did everything all wrong or He'll show me all the times He opened a door and I totally missed it. A fear that He'll show me that I was a breath away from my dream coming to be but missed a chance or took a wrong turn and that in turn, ended the dream.

I don't doubt that God can make a way. I don't doubt that He can do anything. I'm just fully aware that I have to do my part and I'm always afraid I'm going to miss something that I should have done. So many times I wonder "Am I waiting on God or is He waiting on ME??" It's a thought that scares me...Am I in His way? Am I preventing Him from moving in the way He needs or wants to move. I'm trying my best and I pray He knows that I'm doing everything I know to do to seek Him and hear Him clearly.

So, it's not God I'm doubting and questioning...It's ME. And oddly enough, it seems the bottom line in all of this is once again what it always has been....Faith.

Faith that God knows I'm doing my best to seek Him and follow His direction, faith that God knows me well enough to know that many times He has to give me VERY clear signs that I'm going in the right direction, faith that He can still make a way even when I mess up. Faith...In HIM.

Seems it's time once again to simply breathe and believe.

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Five

I only recently heard the song "More Beautiful You" on KSBJ. I really liked the song and the clear message behind the lyrics. So, last night, I looked up some more songs by the artist Jonny Diaz. I came across one entitled, "Monotone" and in the simple words, God's message to ME was very clear....Trust Me. And these were the lyrics that kept coming to mind every time I prayed today. So, allow me to share...

I can see a little boy
Always looking towards the sky
With hopes of reaching all the stars
And dreams that someday he will fly

Now the years have taught me much
I see the world in black and white
I've learned the limits of this common man
But the vision isn't right

Why are my dreams monotone
Are they no longer big enough
If I can reach them on my own
It never forces me to trust...in You

You have showed me time again
So i have only me to blame
But help me see beyond what this world says is possible
Just as I did in younger days

You can make it possible despite what science says
If you can heal the leper if you can raise the dead
Surely you can help me dream again

Song credit: "Monotone" by Jonny Diaz

Other songs by Jonny Diaz that I discovered last night and highly recommend: "Until That Day" "Small Enough" "Hold Me" and as previously mentioned, "More Beautiful You." All of these songs are available on itunes!

And as always, thanks to those of you who are continuing to pray for and with me during these thirty days.

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Four

Yes, I know I didn't blog on day three yesterday...Still prayed though.

As day four is in full swing, I just finished siting at my computer praying in tears as I begged God to move...One of those "please please please God, just move. Show me SOMETHING!" Yes, I know, faith is all about seeing and it's a bit pathetic when it's only day four and I'm already begging for movement.

It would be different, I suppose if I knew WHY this was such a desire. I know I'm not the only person that would like to meet Patrick...And of course, I know he saved my life and all of that. It's just so heavy on my heart that I NEED to say thank you and share my story with him in person. I've really evaluated my reasoning...It's not because he's McDreamy (I didn't even know who Patrick was really before all this happened), it's not so I can say I met someone famous (yes, that WOULD be cool...but my story is personal and I have a feeling he wouldn't be the only person I'd have to share it with in order to say thanks). I've said before, I DON'T KNOW why this trumps everything else I could be spending thirty days praying over, I just know I want it so badly. And the only way I can really make sense of it all is the fact that there seems to be a part of me that isn't healed and perhaps WON'T be until I can be face to face with him and say, "this is what you did for me...." It's such a deep strong desire that the ONLY explanation for why is because God put it there.

The Heavens seem so silent. As I cred out to God (literally) just a few minutes ago, I even began to wonder if I was praying right. Was there something I needed to say, some magic word I needed to utter in order to get God to hear me? Deep down I thought, "How ridiculous! Satan is LOVING getting me to doubt whether or not I'm praying correctly!" Yet, I did. I even asked God if He would perhaps reveal something on "Grey's Anatomy" tonight. I'm just desperate to hear from Him.

Dear Father,

Why is it suddenly so hard to hear from You? Are you talking and I'm not listening? Am I doing this all wrong? Lord, I don't need to know why this is such a desire...You do and that's enough. Father, make my ears sensitive to Your Voice as I continue this thirty days of prayer. I KNOW You are working and I pray that I become more confident in that fact, even when I don't SEE anything happening. May I know that YOU put this dream in my heart and that You do not mess with the emotions of Your kids by making them desire something so badly and not giving it to them eventually.

Father, I lift up this dream to you once more and ask that you make a way. Lord, take care of all of the details. May you cause me to be remembered by the people I've contacted to help this dream come to pass. May you continue to put the right people in my path. May you make me keenly aware of doors to knock on and opportunities that will help. Lord, I'm doing everything I know of and I pray and know that You will do what I cannot.

I lift Patrick up to you again Father. Thank You for him, for his story, and for what you continue to teach me because of him. Bless him wherever he is today Lord, may he stay safe and have a productive and great day. Bless his family and thank you that You are doing great things in his life.

Father, thank you for this time and thank You that I'm one day closer to my dream becoming a real reality. Thank You dear Lord, that it's just a matter of time....

I love You,

Amen

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Two

Today was much better than yesterday. However, I'm experiencing some frustration because I don't exactly know where things stand. As I pray throughout the day, I keep thinking back to when I was praying consistently, daily, several times a day for Kyle. In a way, it was easy to pray for him because Kelly (his mom) was so great at keeping the blog updated as to how he was doing and what we could specifically pray for.

When it comes to what I'm praying for now though, many times it feels like I'm going in blind. I have no idea if any of the people I've contacted to try and get my story to Patrick have actually made any attempt to do so. My story may just be lost in a stack of e-mails or tossed in a dumpster for all I know. So, I'm finding myself repeating basically the same things every time I pray: "God, please just make a way when it seems like there is no way. Lord, thank you that you are moving in ways that you haven't before, Father, I just lift the situation up to you, asking that you remove every obstacle that's preventing this from happening, Father, thank you that you are right now lining things up, putting the right people in my path and that I am one moment closer to knowing that dreams do come true...."

As I sat in the car today while waiting for Kimberly to finish up in a store, I was finishing up this prayer for about the fourth time today. Wondering to myself if God was getting tired of hearing me ask for and say the same things over and over. I didn't know what to ask really and was wondering if it was enough...As I said, "Amen" the song, "Word of God Speak" came on KSBJ....How appropriate! And this verse came to mind:

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." ~Romans 8:26-27~

I know that even though I may not know what exactly my situation needs and where exactly everything stands, but God does. And I have asked Him to reveal to me different ways I can pray about this. Until then, I will keep praying, lifting up my dream and my desire the best way I know how knowing that God hears every word, sees my heart, and is moving and working and that I am that much closer to Him making this a reality. As long as I pray in faith, He sees, He hears...And He WILL answer!

Thank you SO much to those of you that are praying with me in this. It helps and encourages me more than you will ever know!

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day One

I knew when I started this, that the first day was probably going to be one of the toughest because the Enemy doesn't like what's going on...I knew he would use lots of things to distract and try to throw me off...And I was right.

* Before I even was up and going good this morning, these people called to "check in." What a way to start the day.

* Mom and Dad were out running errands today and before they left, I asked my dad to put the hot dog buns down where I could reach them (we keep them in the bread box on top of the fridge). When I went to fix my hot dog at lunch, the buns were nowhere to be found. I called Dad and he'd forgotten to put them down. So, I was left to try and figure out what else to have.

* I was discouraged by the lack of support I seemed to have in this thirty day challenge.

* My parents came back in between errands and then left again. Two hours later, I was in the kitchen when I heard Tazzie start barking outside. Turns out, Mom had let her out to go potty and forgot to let her back in. There is a step down to our sun room leading to the back yard. If my parents are gone for an extended period of time, they leave an older lightweight walker of mine at the bottom of the step so I can let Tazzie out if she needs to go. That, of course wasn't there today and the walker I use all the time is too heavy for me to put down the step and then lift back up the step. So, I had to crawl down the step, to the back door and let Tazzie in. Mom walked in the door ten minutes later! Go figure!

Despite all of this, I prayed. I know the Enemy wouldn't have done all of this if he had not known that God was at work today. He wants me stop because he knows progress was made today.

Thank you dear Lord for the work You did on behalf of my dream today. Thank You that You are at work even now. Thank You for Patrick and his story and for what it continues to teach me. Thank You that I will meet him and say thank you and be able to share my story with him in person. Thank you Father that I'm one day closer to that moment. In Your Name I pray, Amen.

Thirty Days of Prayer

I was reading a chapter in my latest "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book yesterday when I came across the story who told of her pastor telling his congregation, "If you want to see results in prayer, pray for thirty days without ceasing." I stopped reading as I took that in.

I must admit that when I thought about it, there's really only one thing that I have ever really given concentrated prayer to and that was Kyle Sherrill. His story alone should have been proof enough what can happen if you stay consistent in your prayers about something. I can't think of another instance where I've ever been THAT consistent over something in prayer and it saddens me and embarrasses me at the same time.

That's not to say, I don't pray. When I tell someone I'm praying for them, I mean it and I do it. I lift them up. Along with all of the other things I lift up and I do that for several things and several people daily. It's focusing on ONE THING for an extended period of time that I have trouble with (my "prayer A.D.D." kicks in).

As I read this sentence in my book my thoughts immediately went to my dream of meeting Patrick Dempsey (read my story on the right to find out more). Yes, I pray daily about it, and that the efforts I have made to try and get my story to him will somehow pay off, but I must admit to slacking off because I've grown frustrated by the lack of progress. I pray about it, I lift it up, but I can't say I've really given it any concentrated prayer effort in awhile. And I thought, "I wonder what would happen if I devoted some time in my day to specifically pray for that particular thing to come to pass!"

So, starting Monday, March 16th, I am committing myself to praying in a concentrated effort for thirty days, that progress WILL be made in my desire to meet and thank Patrick Dempsey personally. I am praying that God will line things up, that he will put the right people in my path, and that HE will make this happen. Somehow, some way.

It's a big dream that will only happen because God makes it happen and anything is possible, if we believe.

I would be very appreciative if you would join me in praying about this for thirty days with me. I believe that one person's prayers are heard, but how much more awesome would it be to know I had friends joining me for thirty days in prayer believing for this to happen.

I'm going to need encouragement, I'm going to need accountability, I'm going to need people that will believe for me when I get frustrated. I'm going to need your help!

Will you join me in this effort to pray for this dream of mine to come true? Please leave a comment if you'll be praying with me.

Thirty days. I can't wait to see what God is going to do!

Double Dose of Doctors....

*Smiles at title of post*

Okay, I'm very conflicted...Derek Shepherd has left me very conflicted and NOT in a good way! I kind of really disliked him at the end of tonight's show...I get that he lost Jen and he's upset about that (heck, *I'M upset about that...I really liked Jen), and then he found out that he's killed more patients then saved patients. I get that he's depressed, and that he was drunk...REALLY drunk when he went off on his tirade on Meredith, I get that he was upset when he took the baseball bat and whacked the engagement ring across the lawn, I get that NONE of what he had to say, and NONE of what he did had anything to do with Meredith, I get his feelings, because I've been there...But still, I hated it. It was painful to watch and painful to hear. I know he'll come out of it and he'll have some MAJOR making up to do to make up for all of the stuff he spewed at Meredith tonight, but again...I hated it.

Want to know what I loved? I loved that Meredith gets it. I loved that she gets it because SHE'S been there. I loved that Meredith found out about the impending proposal and ring and didn't run away. I loved that she didn't freak out. I loved that she went straight to Derek. I loved that she got that he was drunk and the words held no truth because they were from alcohol and nothing more. I loved that she stood there and took every horrible thing that Derek said and still stood firm, refusing to give up on him...On them. I LOVE how she's grown!!! Oh my gosh...I'm SO flippin' proud of her! She may freak out the next day, or even in the next hour, but in that moment, she stood solid. Being there for him the same way he's been there for her. I'm SO proud.

On to another show that left me with no conflicts whatsoever tonight....

GEORGE CLOONEY BACK AS DOCTOR ROSS ON E.R. TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my flippin' goodness how happy I am!!!!!!!! And Carrol was with him....AND he had on a wedding ring!!!!!! I'm CONVINCED his hand was placed like that to make sure the gold band was visible!!! They're STILL SO GREAT together!! The cute banter and talk about the twins and the spelling test they had that day. Then the cuddling at the very end of the episode as they said "I love you" to each other. And I, in turn, said, "I love you too!!!" *sigh* THANK YOU George and Julianna for coming back! Still crossing my fingers that we'll see you again for the two hour series finale on April 2nd.

And NOW you probably have a better understanding of the title of this entry... :)

The Shirt Says it All

Update on Baby Kyle!

Thanks to all who have been praying for Kyle Sherrill today! His Mom Kelly posted an update just a short time ago. To read the latest, CLICK HERE.

Please continue to pray for Kyle as he recovers and for his family as they care for him!

God is SO good and I am SO thankful for all that He has done for and through sweet Kyle! What an incredible God we serve!

Thanks again for praying and for continuing to pray!

A Little Bit of Everything

Well, in order to comment on everything I want to comment on which really has no particular order, and to save me from pulling my hair out trying to PUT everything in order, I'm just going to do bullet points today, and hope nobody minds.

* First off, thank you for all of the feedback I got When I posted this. Just when I start to think I'm talking to myself here, you guys show up and share your stories with me and love and support me. Thanks to all of you that continue reading and let me know what you think. I've got some pretty awesome friends!

* Thanks also for the person that sent me the text several nights ago at two in the morning with the message: "I just heard about Patrick Dempsey leaving Grey's. Are you okay?" I think Kara and myself are probably the only people on Earth who get texts and phone calls whenever Patrick Dempsey is involved in something and we normally are the ones calling EACH OTHER so I got a real kick out of the text. My answer: Yes, I'm great. Why? Patrick isn't leaving the show...His CHARACTER Derek is quitting his job at Seattle Grace Hospital which caused rumors to run wild that Patrick was exiting the show, but no...Derek will be going through a bit of a depression when the show FINALLY returns March 12th which is allowing PD to grow some major scruff (much to Kara's delight) but PATRICK is staying put. And if you need more reassurance, here it is straight from Patrick Dempsey himself. Thanks for the concern over my reaction to it though...I feel loved!

* Anybody see the two hour episode of Brothers & Sisters last Sunday? Oh my gosh...Rob Lowe's heart attack scene has got to be one of the most realistic looking heart attacks I've ever seen on television....I smell an Emmy nom for that....Kudos to him and the make up department for the "look" they gave him for that scene. "Fix You" is now one of my favorite songs...That montage was wonderfully done! I just love that show! And I love Rob Lowe too...Have ever since The West Wing!

* Did a few tweaks to the blog. Nothing major...You'd have to really look around to find most of them, but it took awhile nonetheless. I'm happy with the end result though and really it's not so much for the regular blog visitors (Subscribers won't see any of it. You'd have to actually see the blog to notice any change) as it is for those that are first timers and don't know anything about me or this blog. I made the changes with them in mind, but who knows who else might gain something from it as well.

* Please remember to pray for Kyle Sherrill. He was supposed to have surgery today (March 4th) and there have been no updates to the blog so he's probably home by now recovering. Please keep praying for him as he recovers.

* I finally was able to buy the book entitled, "The Shack." Been wanting it for quite some time...I've heard awesome things about it (and Michael W. Smith is the first person to offer praise about it on the back cover so...there ya go!) Can't wait to get into it!

* Lexi is all signed up for softball....Opening Day is the 21st of this month. She's thrilled! We're all very excited and can't wait to cheer her on. Please keep her and her team in your prayers for safety as they practice and get ready.

* Austin is all about golf these days and of course, Hally Babe (Alexis' horse) those two things are all he talks about....And my dad loves it!

* I'm still volunteering at the church on Friday's (although I am taking this week off to go to Fairfield to watch my cousin play ball). It's not often he plays this close to us so we're all going to cheer him on Friday afternoon! Looking forward to that!

I'm sure I left SOMETHING out but those are my ramblings for now. :)