Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Eight

It's time to let go. I'm starting to believe that perhaps my dream of thanking Patrick in person is that that...MY dream. Perhaps I thought it was God's desire for me as well because that was the only way to make sense out of wanting it so badly.

I know time is never wasted in prayer but I have to wonder what is going through God's mind as He listens to me ask him for this over and over all the while knowing it's never going to happen. If this dream is truly meant to happen, God will make a way. I'm tired of feeling like just another crazy fan. I give up. I surrender. I wish Patrick the best.

For the remainder of the thirty days I will be praying that God will awaken new dreams that I can actually work toward (you can't really work toward meeting someone...You could, but it probably seems a bit stalkerish and I'm betting a few people probably feel that way about me right now anyway). I pray that He will show me what I'm good at and what I might can do in terms of the talents He has given me and how to put those to use in a job of some sort.

Please continue to pray with me.

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Five

I only recently heard the song "More Beautiful You" on KSBJ. I really liked the song and the clear message behind the lyrics. So, last night, I looked up some more songs by the artist Jonny Diaz. I came across one entitled, "Monotone" and in the simple words, God's message to ME was very clear....Trust Me. And these were the lyrics that kept coming to mind every time I prayed today. So, allow me to share...

I can see a little boy
Always looking towards the sky
With hopes of reaching all the stars
And dreams that someday he will fly

Now the years have taught me much
I see the world in black and white
I've learned the limits of this common man
But the vision isn't right

Why are my dreams monotone
Are they no longer big enough
If I can reach them on my own
It never forces me to trust...in You

You have showed me time again
So i have only me to blame
But help me see beyond what this world says is possible
Just as I did in younger days

You can make it possible despite what science says
If you can heal the leper if you can raise the dead
Surely you can help me dream again

Song credit: "Monotone" by Jonny Diaz

Other songs by Jonny Diaz that I discovered last night and highly recommend: "Until That Day" "Small Enough" "Hold Me" and as previously mentioned, "More Beautiful You." All of these songs are available on itunes!

And as always, thanks to those of you who are continuing to pray for and with me during these thirty days.

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Four

Yes, I know I didn't blog on day three yesterday...Still prayed though.

As day four is in full swing, I just finished siting at my computer praying in tears as I begged God to move...One of those "please please please God, just move. Show me SOMETHING!" Yes, I know, faith is all about seeing and it's a bit pathetic when it's only day four and I'm already begging for movement.

It would be different, I suppose if I knew WHY this was such a desire. I know I'm not the only person that would like to meet Patrick...And of course, I know he saved my life and all of that. It's just so heavy on my heart that I NEED to say thank you and share my story with him in person. I've really evaluated my reasoning...It's not because he's McDreamy (I didn't even know who Patrick was really before all this happened), it's not so I can say I met someone famous (yes, that WOULD be cool...but my story is personal and I have a feeling he wouldn't be the only person I'd have to share it with in order to say thanks). I've said before, I DON'T KNOW why this trumps everything else I could be spending thirty days praying over, I just know I want it so badly. And the only way I can really make sense of it all is the fact that there seems to be a part of me that isn't healed and perhaps WON'T be until I can be face to face with him and say, "this is what you did for me...." It's such a deep strong desire that the ONLY explanation for why is because God put it there.

The Heavens seem so silent. As I cred out to God (literally) just a few minutes ago, I even began to wonder if I was praying right. Was there something I needed to say, some magic word I needed to utter in order to get God to hear me? Deep down I thought, "How ridiculous! Satan is LOVING getting me to doubt whether or not I'm praying correctly!" Yet, I did. I even asked God if He would perhaps reveal something on "Grey's Anatomy" tonight. I'm just desperate to hear from Him.

Dear Father,

Why is it suddenly so hard to hear from You? Are you talking and I'm not listening? Am I doing this all wrong? Lord, I don't need to know why this is such a desire...You do and that's enough. Father, make my ears sensitive to Your Voice as I continue this thirty days of prayer. I KNOW You are working and I pray that I become more confident in that fact, even when I don't SEE anything happening. May I know that YOU put this dream in my heart and that You do not mess with the emotions of Your kids by making them desire something so badly and not giving it to them eventually.

Father, I lift up this dream to you once more and ask that you make a way. Lord, take care of all of the details. May you cause me to be remembered by the people I've contacted to help this dream come to pass. May you continue to put the right people in my path. May you make me keenly aware of doors to knock on and opportunities that will help. Lord, I'm doing everything I know of and I pray and know that You will do what I cannot.

I lift Patrick up to you again Father. Thank You for him, for his story, and for what you continue to teach me because of him. Bless him wherever he is today Lord, may he stay safe and have a productive and great day. Bless his family and thank you that You are doing great things in his life.

Father, thank you for this time and thank You that I'm one day closer to my dream becoming a real reality. Thank You dear Lord, that it's just a matter of time....

I love You,

Amen

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day Two

Today was much better than yesterday. However, I'm experiencing some frustration because I don't exactly know where things stand. As I pray throughout the day, I keep thinking back to when I was praying consistently, daily, several times a day for Kyle. In a way, it was easy to pray for him because Kelly (his mom) was so great at keeping the blog updated as to how he was doing and what we could specifically pray for.

When it comes to what I'm praying for now though, many times it feels like I'm going in blind. I have no idea if any of the people I've contacted to try and get my story to Patrick have actually made any attempt to do so. My story may just be lost in a stack of e-mails or tossed in a dumpster for all I know. So, I'm finding myself repeating basically the same things every time I pray: "God, please just make a way when it seems like there is no way. Lord, thank you that you are moving in ways that you haven't before, Father, I just lift the situation up to you, asking that you remove every obstacle that's preventing this from happening, Father, thank you that you are right now lining things up, putting the right people in my path and that I am one moment closer to knowing that dreams do come true...."

As I sat in the car today while waiting for Kimberly to finish up in a store, I was finishing up this prayer for about the fourth time today. Wondering to myself if God was getting tired of hearing me ask for and say the same things over and over. I didn't know what to ask really and was wondering if it was enough...As I said, "Amen" the song, "Word of God Speak" came on KSBJ....How appropriate! And this verse came to mind:

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." ~Romans 8:26-27~

I know that even though I may not know what exactly my situation needs and where exactly everything stands, but God does. And I have asked Him to reveal to me different ways I can pray about this. Until then, I will keep praying, lifting up my dream and my desire the best way I know how knowing that God hears every word, sees my heart, and is moving and working and that I am that much closer to Him making this a reality. As long as I pray in faith, He sees, He hears...And He WILL answer!

Thank you SO much to those of you that are praying with me in this. It helps and encourages me more than you will ever know!

Thirty Days of Prayer: Day One

I knew when I started this, that the first day was probably going to be one of the toughest because the Enemy doesn't like what's going on...I knew he would use lots of things to distract and try to throw me off...And I was right.

* Before I even was up and going good this morning, these people called to "check in." What a way to start the day.

* Mom and Dad were out running errands today and before they left, I asked my dad to put the hot dog buns down where I could reach them (we keep them in the bread box on top of the fridge). When I went to fix my hot dog at lunch, the buns were nowhere to be found. I called Dad and he'd forgotten to put them down. So, I was left to try and figure out what else to have.

* I was discouraged by the lack of support I seemed to have in this thirty day challenge.

* My parents came back in between errands and then left again. Two hours later, I was in the kitchen when I heard Tazzie start barking outside. Turns out, Mom had let her out to go potty and forgot to let her back in. There is a step down to our sun room leading to the back yard. If my parents are gone for an extended period of time, they leave an older lightweight walker of mine at the bottom of the step so I can let Tazzie out if she needs to go. That, of course wasn't there today and the walker I use all the time is too heavy for me to put down the step and then lift back up the step. So, I had to crawl down the step, to the back door and let Tazzie in. Mom walked in the door ten minutes later! Go figure!

Despite all of this, I prayed. I know the Enemy wouldn't have done all of this if he had not known that God was at work today. He wants me stop because he knows progress was made today.

Thank you dear Lord for the work You did on behalf of my dream today. Thank You that You are at work even now. Thank You for Patrick and his story and for what it continues to teach me. Thank You that I will meet him and say thank you and be able to share my story with him in person. Thank you Father that I'm one day closer to that moment. In Your Name I pray, Amen.

Thirty Days of Prayer

I was reading a chapter in my latest "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book yesterday when I came across the story who told of her pastor telling his congregation, "If you want to see results in prayer, pray for thirty days without ceasing." I stopped reading as I took that in.

I must admit that when I thought about it, there's really only one thing that I have ever really given concentrated prayer to and that was Kyle Sherrill. His story alone should have been proof enough what can happen if you stay consistent in your prayers about something. I can't think of another instance where I've ever been THAT consistent over something in prayer and it saddens me and embarrasses me at the same time.

That's not to say, I don't pray. When I tell someone I'm praying for them, I mean it and I do it. I lift them up. Along with all of the other things I lift up and I do that for several things and several people daily. It's focusing on ONE THING for an extended period of time that I have trouble with (my "prayer A.D.D." kicks in).

As I read this sentence in my book my thoughts immediately went to my dream of meeting Patrick Dempsey (read my story on the right to find out more). Yes, I pray daily about it, and that the efforts I have made to try and get my story to him will somehow pay off, but I must admit to slacking off because I've grown frustrated by the lack of progress. I pray about it, I lift it up, but I can't say I've really given it any concentrated prayer effort in awhile. And I thought, "I wonder what would happen if I devoted some time in my day to specifically pray for that particular thing to come to pass!"

So, starting Monday, March 16th, I am committing myself to praying in a concentrated effort for thirty days, that progress WILL be made in my desire to meet and thank Patrick Dempsey personally. I am praying that God will line things up, that he will put the right people in my path, and that HE will make this happen. Somehow, some way.

It's a big dream that will only happen because God makes it happen and anything is possible, if we believe.

I would be very appreciative if you would join me in praying about this for thirty days with me. I believe that one person's prayers are heard, but how much more awesome would it be to know I had friends joining me for thirty days in prayer believing for this to happen.

I'm going to need encouragement, I'm going to need accountability, I'm going to need people that will believe for me when I get frustrated. I'm going to need your help!

Will you join me in this effort to pray for this dream of mine to come true? Please leave a comment if you'll be praying with me.

Thirty days. I can't wait to see what God is going to do!