A New Favorite

Any of you who have ever gotten those "getting to know you" surveys from me will know that my answer to the question "favorite sport to watch?" has always been gymnastics and is usually followed with a comment about my admiration for gymnast Shannon Miller.

Seeing Shannon perform and win in the 1996 games in Atlanta really got me into the games as I rooted for her and her team mates that year.

Since her "retirement", I have to say I haven't found another favorite to root for the way I did Shannon...Until the 2008 games....

can tell you now that my answer to the question, "favorite sport to watch?" will now include another sport and another favorite:

Michael Phelps and his quest to make Olympic history during these games have given me reason to be excited again. Not since Shannon Miller have I rooted for someone so much. What he does in the water at every competition has blown my mind and his humble attitude and the credit he gives to others has given me even more reason to like him. I have found that I look forward to the swimming competitions more than any other. It's been great to be excited about the games again and to have another favorite to root for! And I'm already excited about the 2012 Olympics in London to see how many more medals Michael Phelps will win there!

Congratulations Michael on making history and showing others what can happen when we DREAM BIG!

A Heart to Heart

Mom and I had lunch together today and all I can say is God totally showed up and moved during our lunch conversation

She was telling me how she had seen some friends of ours while she had been out running errands earlier and how they had asked her what I was up to and my mom told them I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. These friends then told my mom how great I would be at a particular job working at my church.

As we discussed it further, my mom told me she didn't want me to feel like she was pressuring me to get a job. That she knew that because of certain circumstances, I was in a position where I don't really NEED a job. What income I have takes care of my bills (cell phone, personal line in my room, Internet, etc) just fine. That my parents just thought a job would be a way for me to be able to be out of the house and see people but that it wasn't something I needed so my mom reiterated again that she wasn't trying to pressure me.

It was at that moment that a huge weight lifted from me and I felt as though I could open up a bit more about my feelings on the whole thing. I told her that I understood and that I thought a job would be great...That I'm not opposed to having a job at all...It's SETTLING for a job that I don't want to have to do.

I told her how people like "Z" and "L" made me feel and how I hated that situation. I explained that I tolerated "Z" during college and met his requirements during college because he basically paid for it and that now that college is over that I should be able to have the say but since he thinks I need his help to find a job, that he's just putting me in a job to prove that yet another disabled person can find a job, he doesn't really care if the job makes me happy or is something I enjoy doing. I get a call every three months from his office for an update on how the job search is going and it never fails to literally turn my stomach when I see his name on my caller id because I know a big lecture is about to come about what have I been doing to get a job and why haven't I looked here or there...He tunes out the part where I express to him that I haven't looked "here or there" because it's not the type of job I want. However, I'd always hesitated on REALLY expressing my feelings because I honestly felt that my parents wanted me to have a job no matter what it was and that telling Z I wanted to look freely would hurt those efforts.

However, after telling my mom all of this she told me she totally understood and that I was right, I shouldn't have to have a job that met "Z's" criteria or anyone else's but my own. That she had no doubt that there WAS a job out there for me and that I would find it eventually and that the bottom line was my happiness...Not in me finding a job to make others happy and that because of the fact that I don't NEED a job, that I really could take my time and find one that I enjoyed...IF I wanted to do so but that she nor my Dad were trying to pressure me to find one.

I was blown away by how God was just so present during that conversation and how He allowed my Mom to know the words I needed to hear. I had never expressed ANY of my frustrations or any of these feelings about my having or not having a job to my parents so for my Mom to come out and say all of this having no knowledge that it was exactly what has weighed so heavily on me for awhile now was a total God thing....

I've really been feeling as though I've been disappointing my family in a big way by not having a job. There are night's that I would go to bed begging for God to move, not because *I* was getting impatient, but because I felt like my family was. Today after I expressed to her how I always wonder what she and my Dad tell people when they ask what I'm up to now, my mom said that I stay quite busy and that I'm happy and whatever anyone else thinks shouldn't be my concern. I told my Mom I knew that God was at work in my life and that when that job came along that He would give me direction.

God showed up in a BIG today. Now that I really know where my mom stands on my whole job issue I feel as though the pressure is off and I really can relax and not having to worry about disappointing them. I know where they stand, and they know where I stand. I left the restaurant feeling SO much better about my job issues. I'm so thankful that in the way only He can, God opened up the doors for my mom and I to be able to discuss this. Opening up has never been easy for me but I'm working SO hard to get better at that. Today, God allowed it to happen in a way that was relaxed and comfortable. God's peace and presence were evident and He allowed me to really get rid of some chains that have really been weighing me down....God is SO good.

Thank you to those of you who encourage me and pray for me...Please continue...God is up to GREAT things!

A Work in Progress...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ~James 1:2-4~

I don't know a lot for certain these days, but here's what I DO know....God is up to something. God has a plan, and He is up to something.

I sit at home tonight frustrated. Frustrated, because I SEE the things God is doing in the lives of people around me. I SEE how He is moving and others SEE it as well.

I'm frustrated because I know God is doing things within my life, in my heart, getting me ready for the next step. And yet...I feel as though I have very little to SHOW others...I could tell you how God is using this time in my life to teach me what "Be still and know" really means, I can tell you that I now know what faith really is all about and that at some times faith can be really scary because I have to trust what I do not see...And I can tell you about how God has shown me a few more doors of which I have knocked on to possibly make one of the desires of my heart a reality.

I could tell you that God has now helped me to believe that it's not a matter of IF this dream comes true, but a matter of WHEN. And I could tell you that now instead of me praying for that dream to come to pass he is already putting the words on my heart to say WHEN it comes to pass. I could tell you how excited this makes me because I know God is at work...I KNOW it is His Hand.

The problem with "being still" for me is that so many others around me seem to perceive that as "being lazy." I've said this before but I really wish I could cut open my soul for you to see what God is up to. I was ready to give up on a dream...Went to bed that night and just said, "Lord, you've got to show me something....If this is something that is never going to happen, then please just tell me now so I can let it go and move on...I begged. One of those "please please please God, just show me something" prayers. The VERY next day, He presented a door to me which I knocked on and that day got a very promising answer....Which lead to what I pray is another door that will be opened. I don't feel comfortable sharing any more than that because at this moment, there's nothing more to share but when the time comes, and I can share more with you, I will. For now, I ask for you to pray with me that this leads to something greater than I could even ask or think.

My point in sharing that with you is to say...God is at work. He's got a plan and a purpose and I'm learning so much about myself and my Creator. I honestly feel as though I am exactly where God wants me right now. I'm in a position where I'm available to really use one of my spiritual gifts which is encouragement. And to be in a position where I can really pray for people while God works on me in the process. No, I'm not getting a paycheck for this, but money can't buy this kind of stuff.

I see people and always get asked the question, "So, what are you doing now?" and inwardly, I cringe because I can't say, "I work at _______ doing_______." I sometimes struggle for an answer while my family stands there probably thinking, "Yes, Natalie, how are you going to answer them this time...."

I don't want to have to settle for a job just to pacify others or to prove to others that a disabled person can get a job. I KNOW I can get a job. I'm a hard worker and when I get one, I will be great at what I do. I just feel that I am made for so much more than the box people are trying to put me in.

God is up to great things in my life. I have very little to physically show for it right now but WHEN God allows me to, I will be able to show you how He is working. Just please, hang in there with me. Believe with me that my breakthrough is coming, And pray for God's favor on the above situation I shared, that that dream may finally be realized and will lead to other doors being opened. Pray for me, Pray WITH me. Thanks!

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands. ~Psalm 138:8~

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6~

Vacation Bible School 2008

Lexi Smiles for the camera at VBSAustin (on the right) reads about Jesus
Austin takes a break with a nursery worker

Lexi (the one with the white bow) and her group pray before music ends for the day

Last week was vacation bible school at our church. It was Alexis' and Austin's first year to attend. Lexi was in the pre-k class (which my Mom helped with) while Austin had fun in the nursery. I spent the week helping with registration and typing up the certificates that each child would receive at the end of the week. The week was based around Psalms 86:11: "Teach me your way O Lord that I might walk in your truth." And the slogan for the week was, "Know the truth, speak the truth, live the truth."

It was a blast watching Lexi learn about God and sing, and dance. She came home every afternoon still singing the songs! We are so blessed to have such a great church family that loves kids and desires for them to know the Lord. At the end of the week six decisions were made for Christ!!

God is good! And the best is yet to come!

Rest in Peace Randy Pausch

Randy Pausch who's known for "The Last Lecture" passed away this morning. He was truly an inspiration to so many people. Please keep his wife and three children in your prayers.

The news article is HERE.

Rest in Peace, Randy. The lessons you left here will continue on.

Katy and Melissa are Home!

Many of you have been praying for my friend's Katy and Melissa who have been in Rwanda for the past seven weeks.

I am thrilled to tell you that they returned home last night and are now I'm sure catching up on some much needed rest and spending time with their families.

Please go read Katy and Melissa's journey as they have it chronicled in their blogs. I promise, you'll be blessed as you read about the work God did in their lives as well as in the lives of those they came in contact with. Please continue to pray for both of them as they now have time to really reflect on their trip and what God revealed to them.

Also, please say some extra prayers for Katy as she is having back surgery tomorrow (Friday). Please pray that God ease her anxiety and that His spirit surrounds the surgeons and the operating room and that God be with Katy's parents Carol and Bill and Katy's sister Abbey as they wait during the operation. And please pray for a speedy recovery so that Katy can be ready to go when classes resume for her on August 25th. Thank you so much!

I know Katy and Melissa really appreciate those of you that have lifted them up daily. God has changed lives forever because of them and He's got even more amazing things in store for both of them!

Welcome home, Katy and Melissa! Thanks for representing Him in such an incredible way!

"Follow Your Passion"

Avon has announced the name of Patrick Dempsey's new fragrance. It is to be called "Patrick Dempsey Unscripted." I am continuously amazed at how God continues to use Patrick in my story called "life and how as I read the article about the fragrance the beat of MY own heart was written in the words that describe Patrick's latest venture...

"Unscripted is about loving what you do and doing it in your own unique way."

Those of you that know me know that one of my motto's is, "Do what you love, love what you do." I've said that I will eventually find the job that enables me to do just that....I will definitely do it in a way all my own...My physical limitations don't give me much choice other than to be unique. *wink*

"The fragrance tagline, "Follow Your Passion," captures the true essence of Patrick and his belief that each individual should develop and write their own script for life."

I had to smile when I read that in the article. I don't think "ironic" is a word in God's dictionary but that's the only way I know to describe it...How ironic that the above statement is EXACTLY what Patrick is allowing me to do. It is because of the way God is using him in my life that I am discovering what my passion is, that I am beginning to have the confidence to be able to "follow that passion" develop and "write my own life script" and not the script other people want to write for me. It's honestly because of him that my life script continues at all. If you don't understand any of this, read this again and that might help.

I'm probably the only one that really understands this...I thought I'd share anyway because the parallels just cause me to shake my head and smile at how God works and how He continues using Patrick to help get His message across to me.