A Work in Progress...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ~James 1:2-4~

I don't know a lot for certain these days, but here's what I DO know....God is up to something. God has a plan, and He is up to something.

I sit at home tonight frustrated. Frustrated, because I SEE the things God is doing in the lives of people around me. I SEE how He is moving and others SEE it as well.

I'm frustrated because I know God is doing things within my life, in my heart, getting me ready for the next step. And yet...I feel as though I have very little to SHOW others...I could tell you how God is using this time in my life to teach me what "Be still and know" really means, I can tell you that I now know what faith really is all about and that at some times faith can be really scary because I have to trust what I do not see...And I can tell you about how God has shown me a few more doors of which I have knocked on to possibly make one of the desires of my heart a reality.

I could tell you that God has now helped me to believe that it's not a matter of IF this dream comes true, but a matter of WHEN. And I could tell you that now instead of me praying for that dream to come to pass he is already putting the words on my heart to say WHEN it comes to pass. I could tell you how excited this makes me because I know God is at work...I KNOW it is His Hand.

The problem with "being still" for me is that so many others around me seem to perceive that as "being lazy." I've said this before but I really wish I could cut open my soul for you to see what God is up to. I was ready to give up on a dream...Went to bed that night and just said, "Lord, you've got to show me something....If this is something that is never going to happen, then please just tell me now so I can let it go and move on...I begged. One of those "please please please God, just show me something" prayers. The VERY next day, He presented a door to me which I knocked on and that day got a very promising answer....Which lead to what I pray is another door that will be opened. I don't feel comfortable sharing any more than that because at this moment, there's nothing more to share but when the time comes, and I can share more with you, I will. For now, I ask for you to pray with me that this leads to something greater than I could even ask or think.

My point in sharing that with you is to say...God is at work. He's got a plan and a purpose and I'm learning so much about myself and my Creator. I honestly feel as though I am exactly where God wants me right now. I'm in a position where I'm available to really use one of my spiritual gifts which is encouragement. And to be in a position where I can really pray for people while God works on me in the process. No, I'm not getting a paycheck for this, but money can't buy this kind of stuff.

I see people and always get asked the question, "So, what are you doing now?" and inwardly, I cringe because I can't say, "I work at _______ doing_______." I sometimes struggle for an answer while my family stands there probably thinking, "Yes, Natalie, how are you going to answer them this time...."

I don't want to have to settle for a job just to pacify others or to prove to others that a disabled person can get a job. I KNOW I can get a job. I'm a hard worker and when I get one, I will be great at what I do. I just feel that I am made for so much more than the box people are trying to put me in.

God is up to great things in my life. I have very little to physically show for it right now but WHEN God allows me to, I will be able to show you how He is working. Just please, hang in there with me. Believe with me that my breakthrough is coming, And pray for God's favor on the above situation I shared, that that dream may finally be realized and will lead to other doors being opened. Pray for me, Pray WITH me. Thanks!

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands. ~Psalm 138:8~

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6~