A friend of mine is leaving for Rwanda on Monday morning. She went last summer as well and did SO MUCH good and I can just tell by the way she writes about it how much she is ready to go back.
Melissa and I grew up together. We stayed with the same baby-sitter for years and while we are not as close as we used to be, I know that if I were ever in trouble and needed prayer, Melissa is definitely someone I know would be down on her knees in an instant to intercede for me. She has an INCREDIBLE heart for God and the people of Rwanda. She loves God with a bold love and this is a deep passion of hers. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that God is going to use her in incredible ways this summer just as He did last summer!
I have put a link to her blog on the right. Visit there to get some specific ways on what you can pray for as they head out to be a Light for our Creator to people that are thirsting for Him and His love. Melissa will be His Hands, Feet and loving Arms to people!!!
Melissa, I love you and I know many people will be praying for you and Katy as you go and do what God has laid on your heart!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
AFTRA agrees on contract, is SAG next?
You may recall several posts ago how I talked about how SAG negotiations had stalled and that AFTRA was trying to reach a deal for their contract. I said that if AFTRA reached a deal that it would be very hard for SAG to have much leverage or support for a strike as it is rumored was what they were getting ready to do.
AFTRA agreed on their contract early this morning. SAG went back into negotiations just a few hours later (they were already scheduled to resume talks today regardless of whether or not AFTRA had reached a deal yet, I think). And I haven't heard anything about how the first day back today went.
I can only speculate that without AFTRA backing them and having already reached a contact that SAG will have to cave on some issues and reach a deal as well. I have to be honest and say that when I logged on this morning to the news that AFTRA reached a deal I was relieved....Although, I hear they caved massively on some issues in order to do so. I was relieved because I knew as long as BOTH AFTRA and SAG DIDN'T reach a deal, the more possible a strike would become because each union would have the support of the other. I was worried when contract talks stalled with SAG and was hoping that this wasn't a set up for another strike. Now that AFTRA has reached a deal, I think SAG members know strike support just tanked and they'll be pushed to reach some sort of an agreement.
I feel bad that they'll have to cave to do so. If I could understand what they were fighting for then perhaps I might be more apt to encourage them (not that any of them care one bit what I think or even know I'm alive) to stick to their guns no matter what. I was a firm believer in the writers strike...Didn't like it, but understood their cause and would have been on the picket lines had I been near any of the studios. I just don't understand the SAG issues and I've read the statements issued but you have to know lawyer speak to understand them.
I just do NOT want another strike. We already suffered through one shortened T.V. season and I don't want to go through another. Not to mention the fact that HELLO!! Did you SEE the Grey's finale?!?!? DO NOT MAKE ME WAIT ANY LONGER THAN I'M ALREADY HAVING TO SO I CAN SEE MY COUPLE TOGETHER!!!!! Besides, I've already got count downs to the beginning of season five posted on both my facebook and myspace pages...Don't make me have to go re-calculate them!
I don't think ANYONE wants another strike which I think is part of the reason AFTRA might have caved like they did. Let's just cross our fingers and pray that clear heads and open minds are at the negotiations table on SAG's behalf right now and let's pray that a deal can be reached and another strike is avoided. I'll post when I hear more.
One other small note I have to mention...CONGRATULATIONS once again, Julie!! I have no idea if you'll read this but your news really made my day and I am so happy for you!! Send pictures girl!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
AFTRA agreed on their contract early this morning. SAG went back into negotiations just a few hours later (they were already scheduled to resume talks today regardless of whether or not AFTRA had reached a deal yet, I think). And I haven't heard anything about how the first day back today went.
I can only speculate that without AFTRA backing them and having already reached a contact that SAG will have to cave on some issues and reach a deal as well. I have to be honest and say that when I logged on this morning to the news that AFTRA reached a deal I was relieved....Although, I hear they caved massively on some issues in order to do so. I was relieved because I knew as long as BOTH AFTRA and SAG DIDN'T reach a deal, the more possible a strike would become because each union would have the support of the other. I was worried when contract talks stalled with SAG and was hoping that this wasn't a set up for another strike. Now that AFTRA has reached a deal, I think SAG members know strike support just tanked and they'll be pushed to reach some sort of an agreement.
I feel bad that they'll have to cave to do so. If I could understand what they were fighting for then perhaps I might be more apt to encourage them (not that any of them care one bit what I think or even know I'm alive) to stick to their guns no matter what. I was a firm believer in the writers strike...Didn't like it, but understood their cause and would have been on the picket lines had I been near any of the studios. I just don't understand the SAG issues and I've read the statements issued but you have to know lawyer speak to understand them.
I just do NOT want another strike. We already suffered through one shortened T.V. season and I don't want to go through another. Not to mention the fact that HELLO!! Did you SEE the Grey's finale?!?!? DO NOT MAKE ME WAIT ANY LONGER THAN I'M ALREADY HAVING TO SO I CAN SEE MY COUPLE TOGETHER!!!!! Besides, I've already got count downs to the beginning of season five posted on both my facebook and myspace pages...Don't make me have to go re-calculate them!
I don't think ANYONE wants another strike which I think is part of the reason AFTRA might have caved like they did. Let's just cross our fingers and pray that clear heads and open minds are at the negotiations table on SAG's behalf right now and let's pray that a deal can be reached and another strike is avoided. I'll post when I hear more.
One other small note I have to mention...CONGRATULATIONS once again, Julie!! I have no idea if you'll read this but your news really made my day and I am so happy for you!! Send pictures girl!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
Letting Go
I believe that we have to meet God halfway....We can believe and believe God for that job, or that house, or that husband or wife but we can't just sit there and then expect for it to drop into our laps without US having to do some work. I think our efforts are a way of putting action behind our faith. I created this blog with the thought that God was up to MAJOR things in my life and that when those things happened, THIS was where I would share those things...I could have waited until those things happened and then shouted them from the rooftops with a mass e-mail, but this blog was a small way for me to put a bit of action behind what I believe were some great things unfolding for me and I wanted to have this ready.
I woke up at 5:30 this morning (having not fallen asleep until 2) and made a decision. I will not be taking any further action to make my dream (at least my most heartfelt one) a reality. I knocked on another door Sunday night and really fell as though now, my two most promising lines have been cast into the water (fishing analogy...I have no idea why because I don't fish)I've done all I know to do and now all I can do is wait, pray and see what happens.
It was a really tough thing to do at five in the morning...I think I know deep down that Sunday night was my last REAL chance to make it happen and so waking up and the first thought in my head being.... "it's time to stop" was tough. Until today, I always knew that if I knocked on one door and it didn't open, there was another one waiting to be knocked on...I didn't know it then, but I know now....Sunday was my last door. And now, I just wait and pray that I did enough. That one door will open.
I left my dream on the alter this morning. I cried, I prayed, and I begged God and pleaded my case one last time and then I left my dream and all my efforts in His Hands. I don't know why it was so hard to do...Certainly God's hands are the BEST Hands for my dreams, it just feels as though I've worked so so so hard and now there's nothing left to do but pray that you did enough, that you heard God's direction clearly enough and that you are on the right track.
It's like you study months and months and months for that one test, you take the test and then you sit for an hour before making any move to turn it in because as long as you still have it, you can go back through and make changes, but once you hand it over to the proctor...That's it. It's done. No turning back.
Letting go is hard...I could put my Jesus mask on and say that because I knew I was giving it to Jesus that it was simple, but I can't do that. I sit here with tears in my eyes just typing this knowing that I did the right thing but still struggling with it.
When the time is right, I will be more specific about what I asked of God and the steps that I did take, until then and unless there is something specific to share about a breakthrough in this area it is something I doubt I will discuss a lot more for awhile...At least here. It was difficult just typing this up.
When something does happen I will share but I'm sure you guys are probably tired of hearing me go on and on about it so I'm going to try and be sensitive to that because I want you guys to keep coming here. All that I ask is that you pray as I wait. Thanks.
Another post coming tonight...It's one I won't send out an e-mail for because I doubt very many of you are interested, but if you are, check back tomorrow (or later tonight) for another post on an entirely different topic.
Until then....
I woke up at 5:30 this morning (having not fallen asleep until 2) and made a decision. I will not be taking any further action to make my dream (at least my most heartfelt one) a reality. I knocked on another door Sunday night and really fell as though now, my two most promising lines have been cast into the water (fishing analogy...I have no idea why because I don't fish)I've done all I know to do and now all I can do is wait, pray and see what happens.
It was a really tough thing to do at five in the morning...I think I know deep down that Sunday night was my last REAL chance to make it happen and so waking up and the first thought in my head being.... "it's time to stop" was tough. Until today, I always knew that if I knocked on one door and it didn't open, there was another one waiting to be knocked on...I didn't know it then, but I know now....Sunday was my last door. And now, I just wait and pray that I did enough. That one door will open.
I left my dream on the alter this morning. I cried, I prayed, and I begged God and pleaded my case one last time and then I left my dream and all my efforts in His Hands. I don't know why it was so hard to do...Certainly God's hands are the BEST Hands for my dreams, it just feels as though I've worked so so so hard and now there's nothing left to do but pray that you did enough, that you heard God's direction clearly enough and that you are on the right track.
It's like you study months and months and months for that one test, you take the test and then you sit for an hour before making any move to turn it in because as long as you still have it, you can go back through and make changes, but once you hand it over to the proctor...That's it. It's done. No turning back.
Letting go is hard...I could put my Jesus mask on and say that because I knew I was giving it to Jesus that it was simple, but I can't do that. I sit here with tears in my eyes just typing this knowing that I did the right thing but still struggling with it.
When the time is right, I will be more specific about what I asked of God and the steps that I did take, until then and unless there is something specific to share about a breakthrough in this area it is something I doubt I will discuss a lot more for awhile...At least here. It was difficult just typing this up.
When something does happen I will share but I'm sure you guys are probably tired of hearing me go on and on about it so I'm going to try and be sensitive to that because I want you guys to keep coming here. All that I ask is that you pray as I wait. Thanks.
Another post coming tonight...It's one I won't send out an e-mail for because I doubt very many of you are interested, but if you are, check back tomorrow (or later tonight) for another post on an entirely different topic.
Until then....
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I'm really trying here...
I cried myself to sleep last night. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just kidding myself. If my goals and desires are really attainable or if I'll look back on them years from now as just really great fantasies that kept me hoping against hope for so long.
People talk a lot about dreams...It's on the news, in commercials, people give speeches about them..."Dream big" they say. "Dare to dream!" they proclaim. "Live your dream!" Is that all it is? Just talk?
I'm floundering right now and I don't know why. I've had a huge lump in my throat all day because I went to bed praying for this dream to die...I didn't want to want it so badly because now the thought of it NOT happening is just a bit too much. I wanted to wake up this morning and not want it. Instead, I woke up this morning and almost ached because I wanted it MORE. That's God, right? Someone PLEASE reassure me that THIS is God at work...I can't believe that God would mess with a person's emotions in such a cruel way as to put this kind of desire in them and NOT let them experience having that which they desire eventually.
I have a dream...I never really thought it was something I needed, I thought it would be GREAT to have happen but often felt guilty for wanting it so badly, because I didn't think I "needed" it. Now, now I think it IS indeed something I need...A lot more than I realized. I need this to happen...not only for something deep within me to be healed, but so that I can look back on this and say, "Yes! Dreams absolutely do come true!" Because...I do, dream about this happening...All the time.
What's happening to me? Now is NOT the time to lose faith....Now is the time where unshakable faith is supposed to step in....Why am I doubting now? What happened between last night and today? Am I being tested? Is God trying to see just how far He can stretch me?
Do I still want this...More than ever. And now, I not only want it, I need it. Maybe that's what's going on...God is transforming my "want" to a "need" I never thought God would actually do that...And maybe that's not what's happening at all, that's just my best guess because this hurts, and transformation is painful sometimes so that's my best guess at to the purpose of my pain right now: Transformation
People talk a lot about dreams...It's on the news, in commercials, people give speeches about them..."Dream big" they say. "Dare to dream!" they proclaim. "Live your dream!" Is that all it is? Just talk?
I'm floundering right now and I don't know why. I've had a huge lump in my throat all day because I went to bed praying for this dream to die...I didn't want to want it so badly because now the thought of it NOT happening is just a bit too much. I wanted to wake up this morning and not want it. Instead, I woke up this morning and almost ached because I wanted it MORE. That's God, right? Someone PLEASE reassure me that THIS is God at work...I can't believe that God would mess with a person's emotions in such a cruel way as to put this kind of desire in them and NOT let them experience having that which they desire eventually.
I have a dream...I never really thought it was something I needed, I thought it would be GREAT to have happen but often felt guilty for wanting it so badly, because I didn't think I "needed" it. Now, now I think it IS indeed something I need...A lot more than I realized. I need this to happen...not only for something deep within me to be healed, but so that I can look back on this and say, "Yes! Dreams absolutely do come true!" Because...I do, dream about this happening...All the time.
What's happening to me? Now is NOT the time to lose faith....Now is the time where unshakable faith is supposed to step in....Why am I doubting now? What happened between last night and today? Am I being tested? Is God trying to see just how far He can stretch me?
Do I still want this...More than ever. And now, I not only want it, I need it. Maybe that's what's going on...God is transforming my "want" to a "need" I never thought God would actually do that...And maybe that's not what's happening at all, that's just my best guess because this hurts, and transformation is painful sometimes so that's my best guess at to the purpose of my pain right now: Transformation
Friday, May 23, 2008
Ask, Seek, Knock
I've talked many times about how God is opening doors for me. I'm learning now that while God sometimes opens doors for us, other times he shows us a door and it is up to us to go KNOCK on the door first BEFORE it is opened. God has shown me several doors recently, and many times it took A LOT of courage for me to go and knock on some of them...I have stepped out of my comfort zone in ways I thought I never would, I do so because I have a dream...And I do not want to look back one day and say, my dream might have been behind that one door I didn't have the guts to knock on. Sometimes God opens the door for us, and other times I think He wants to see just how badly we want our dreams to happen.
I'm standing at a door right now that God has shown me. I'm knocking. I have other doors that I haven't knocked on yet because I'm still waiting to see if anyone is going to answer this door. How do you know when it's time to move on to another door? How do you know when to stay and hope that it's just taking the person on the other side awhile to get to the door? Or do you go knock on all the doors that are available and see which ones, if any open?
I'm standing at a door right now that God has shown me. I'm knocking. I have other doors that I haven't knocked on yet because I'm still waiting to see if anyone is going to answer this door. How do you know when it's time to move on to another door? How do you know when to stay and hope that it's just taking the person on the other side awhile to get to the door? Or do you go knock on all the doors that are available and see which ones, if any open?
"Extraordinary Together"
For those that missed it (or just want to see it again) the beautiful ending scene to Grey's Anatomy's season four finale
Grey's Anatomy Episode Thoughts: "Freedom" (season finale)
Oh. My. Gosh. I LOVED this episode!!! Absolutely flippin' LOVED it!!!
* Normally, this would be the last thing I would post after commenting on everything else but since it's all I can think about I HAVE to talk about it FIRST.....THAT ENDING ROCKED!!!! I loved the house built by candle light on Derek's land and Meredith's ADORABLE ramble as she paced not knowing that Derek was watching, the way Derek said her name and then how Mer went on yet another adorable ramble about which rooms were where and for what...KIDS....She mentioned THEIR KIDS....Meredith Grey mentioned KIDS...."OUR kids" she called them! That's HUGE! And Derek...He put his hands behind his back and listened. Then he walked into the "house" and gave his take on the rooms...And HE mentions "the kids." And then....Meredith Grey was honest...."I'm still mad at you, I don't know if I trust you. I want to trust you but I don't know if I do so I'm just gonna try, I'm gonna try and trust you because I believe we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart..." She rambles and vents until while Derek slowly walks toward her and silences it all with a "lean into your televisions" kind of kiss! And then...he says he has to go speak to Rose so he can kiss her the way he wants to kiss her, so he can do more than kiss her..."Stay here. Don't move. Wait for me." with THE BIGGEST smile on his face...And as he turned to go, he was STILL smiling! And Meredith...She stayed. She's waiting. She's trusting. It was AMAZING!!!!!!! I flippin' LOVED IT!!!!!!!
* Did anyone notice how Ellen was on her tip toes while she was kissing Patrick. I didn't really notice it until I was re-watching the scene and after they broke the kiss, Ellen balances on her feet again. And when the camera pans out during the kiss, one of Ellen's feet is visible and she's definitely on her tip toes!! I think that's adorable!!
* Great camera work during the kiss...I love how the camera slowly circled them and then came in for a close up shot of their faces.
* Derek was totally smiling as they broke the long kiss and went into several short kisses. I think part of that was Patrick's relief that FINALLY....FINALLY they were together!!! Meredith and Derek were together! Patrick and Ellen have wanted their characters REALLY together for a very long time...I think both should be very pleased with how that reunion scene was written. They both were incredible! I know I was smiling through my tears!!
Okay...Now that I've gotten that out of the way, maybe just MAYBE I can focus on the rest of the things I found comment worthy....
* I loved Bailey with "cement boy" tonight... "If you see a warm, welcoming light....Don't go into it!" LOL! One of my favorite lines of the night!
* I actually felt for Izzie tonight! I know, I was looking out the window to see if pigs were flying too!
* I'm SO glad SOOOOO glad someone FINALLY put Hahn in her place tonight!! Go Cristina for telling her to "Shut up!" And go Webber for telling her she needed to be better in order to work there! Sorry, but that girl needed to be humbled!
* Have I mentioned how much I LOVE it when we see Derek interact with his patients?! I loved how gentle he was helping Beth back in the wheelchair after she was caught trying to go see Jeremy.
* Speaking of Beth...Can someone PLEASE PLEASE tell me what else that actress has played in??? It's driving me nuts trying to figure it out!! HELP!
* ROTFL at Meredith and Derek acting as "pimps" outside the hospital room. "No, she's not in any pain..." ROTFL!!!!!! And the looks Mer and Der exchanged as they went off to fill out paperwork that Meredith must of HAD to make up! "I'll be here, doin' my thing.." That was hysterical!
* Lexie and George...FINALLY! I was wondering when they were going to go that route! It was only a matter of time!
* Loved Bailey's speech to Izzie and how she gave the clinic to Izzie, taking steps toward fixing her marriage.
* Loved this exchange: Beth: Are you scared?" Derek: "Yes." Beth: "Me too, so let's just leap, okay?" I think that was very telling of his feelings on his relationship with Meredith...Yes, he's scared but sometimes you just have to take the leap and see what happens.
* Alex going off on Izzie....I get why he did it, but I was surprised at just HOW angry he got with her. I was however intrigued with what he had to say about how he took care of his Mom. I really hope more light is shed on that in season five.
* Webber and Meredith....I'm glad she finally told him about Ellis trying to kill herself. It'll be interesting to see where they stand when season five opens.
* Watching Meredith clean up the blood on the floor was heartbreaking and intense at the same time. I kept thinking that as the camera panned up we would see a young version of Mer doing the same thing years earlier.
* I LOVED that Mer finally got that when Ellis said, be extraordinary, how she wasn't talking about surgery and how that put her in high gear to find Derek.
* I've said it before and I'll say it again...Amy Madigan ROCKS! I REALLY REALLY REALLY want Dr. Wyatt back next season perhaps for both Meredith AND Derek!
* I liked how the episode ended with a bit of closure on everything but left the doors open enough to leave us curious about what's to come next season....Ava will be gone, but where are things headed with Alex and Izzie? George gets to retake his test, how will this change things for him? And what is brewing for he and Lexie? Webber and Adele are back together, can he make it work and STILL be chief? Callie and Erica...WHERE is that going and HOW will it work? Bailey...She's delegating. She went home to Tucker tonight...Can her marriage survive? I'm worried for Mark...What's next for him? Who is there left for him to be with? And of course...Meredith and Derek...They're together "for good" but clearly still have things they need to work through.
It will be REALLY interesting to see where Season Five picks up. I for one would like to see it pick up on the same night that it ended...He comes back to the house and he and Meredith TALK. It'll be interesting to see how they choose to handle closure on he and Rose. I think with them picking up on the same night it ended, there's more of a chance for Meredith and Derek to really look at their issues and say, "Okay, we're in this for good, let's work on things..." I think if it picks up weeks later then we're left to assume a lot and I don't want to have to assume...I want to SEE them working on things between them TOGETHER. I know it won't be easy, and they won't be in a happy place all the time, but they'll stick it out and work through it together...because that's what couples do.
I remember when season three ended, I was so sad because of how they left things with Meredith and Derek and then when the season was cut short during the writers strike how Meredith and Derek were basically "finished." I was dreading the show coming back and seeing them want each other but do nothing about it. Then I heard that Shonda had gained perspective during the strike and was putting Derek and Meredith together "for good." I didn't know how she was going to do it, but I was excited and I knew it wouldn't be until the finale that the reunion happened. Shonda proved herself. She did it!
For the first time in a long time I can look at the finale and instead of being tortured for three months about whether Meredith and Derek are together or apart, I'm full of hope for what season five is going to bring...For everyone! Thank you, Shonda! Thank you, writers!
"Stay here. Don't move. Wait for me." That we will do....With great anticipation!
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