One Year Has Passed....

"For I know the plan I have for you," Declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a future and hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11~


One year ago today was my college graduation day. I've dreaded this day coming in a way and looked forward to it in another sense.

I've grown SO much since this day last year....My faith is at a place it's never been. My trust in Christ has been tested and I believe I am passing those tests because I DO trust Him in a way I haven't before. I have no other choice BUT to trust at this point in my life. I've relived the memories of that day...Being with my family, seeing Darenee for the first time in ten years and it feeling as though not a second has passed, the feeling of accomplishment, the utter exhaustion I felt after the day was done and every one had gone home. It was a good day.

Since that time, my dreams have become more alive and more passionate. People that I NEVER would have thought would contact me for anything have contacted me asking me to pray for them...Just out of the blue. I've constantly been humbled by the fact that in their darkest times people have asked ME to pray for them...It's a responsibility and such an honor that I do not take lightly. My faith has grown indeed because of this.

I know now the freedom of praying and REALLY believing that God would work in the situation. A year ago I prayed and then crossed my fingers that something would happen. NOW, I pray KNOWING I've been heard and that KNOWING that God is at work in the situation. I pray bigger, bolder, and really ask for what I want. I used to pray prayers like, "God, you know best, you know what I want, it's up to you..." And Now I get specific...I have not because I ask not. I have two big dreams that I believe are God given and I pray specifically for them daily...They ARE big dreams and I have no idea how they can come to be in the natural, but I serve a supernatural God and I pray believing He will (and already is) making a way. Yes, I pray big and believe big.

I've dreaded this day as well. Not for me, but because I know my parents and others look back and don't see things the same way I do. A year has passed and still, I have no job. I really feel as though I've let people down and disappointed them. A year has passed and the high hopes people had for me seem to be crushed.

If I could give people a glimpse inside my head and heart, they would see that I do indeed have goals that I am going for, that I DO have plans and I'm working on making some of my dreams a reality. People would see how deep my desire is for these things to come to pass and how I go to God with them daily, many times begging for Him to move in a way He hasn't before. People would see my passion as genuine and not just a phase. People would see my efforts, and they would no longer feel let down or disappointed. I KNOW God has opened doors and I've knocked on several of them and am still waiting for someone to answer. God has a plan! *I* know this! *I* know I'm doing all I can, and *I* know these dreams are God given, but when I can't give people a physical glance at my heart for THEM to see what God is doing and the things He has revealed to me, it makes times very frustrating. I long for the day when God will show those that have second guessed my heart and are leery of the dreams I have ALL that He has been working on. I long for them to see that I'm not just "wasting my life away" but that I was following God's direction. I can't give you that physical glimpse, to prove these things real, that's where faith comes in.

"Now faith is being SURE of what we HOPE for and CERTAIN of what we DO NOT SEE." ~Hebrews 11:1~

I promise guys, God is NOT done with me yet...He IS leading me to doors and I promise, I'm knocking. There WILL come a day when God will let all of YOU see all that HE has been working on in me....He's revealed amazing things to me this past year. I know what it's like to REALLY have a passion for something and to really want it. One dream in particular I want so badly that it hurts. I've never felt like this before about anything. I've never wanted something SO much. So, I KNOW the dreams in my heart WILL come to pass. I know this because I want them too badly for them NOT happen. God DOES NOT put a desire like that within a person without plans to make them a reality. I really believe that and it gives me an incredible amount of hope and security.

Please don't count me out yet. I know so many of you have such high hopes for me and I can understand why you might feel disappointed, have faith. If you can't have faith in me right now (and I understand that) PLEASE have faith in HIM and His plans for me. He IS at work in my life, I promise.

Grey's Anatomy Episode Thoughts: "The Becoming"

I liked it. I really, really liked it....

* Meredith's opening and closing monologue rocked tonight!

* LOVED seeing baby Tuc again!!! And Miranda walking him down the hall...So cute!

* Line of the night: "Every time Derek walks into a room, all I can think about is his tongue.....In my mouth." ROTFL!!! Great! :)

* Meredith is actually TALKING about stuff...Who would of thought!!!

* Amy Madigan rocks! "Powerful stuff, reality!"

* "He's with Rose...." Quite a mantra! I giggled every time she started it!

* LOVE seeing Derek being a doctor once again!!! YAY!!!

* Dr. Bailey knocking on the door and knowing both Callie and Mark were in the same room...ROTFL!!

* Izzie = Annoying

* Hahn actually being compassionate with a patient...What a change! LOVED seeing that side of her!

* A date & tell policy and everyone having to fill out their history...Lovely!! Mark's face was priceless! Adele is back!!!! LOVE Adele!!!!!!

* Cristina singing "like a virgin" and Lexie joining in....ROTFL!!!!!!!

* George being Webber's intern...Poor George!! :D

* Derek and Meredith "practicing" and how Mer was totally staring him down while Derek was explaining things....And how Derek stole a glance at her while she wasn't looking...SWEET!

* Plot Device not needing a form...LOVED it! Until later in the show when she DID need one! LOVED how Lexie instantly apologized to Mer! (I want their sisterly bond to grow). And I loved how George instantly said he was going to get Cristina!

* Anyone else notice the Meredith and Derek's "music" played a lot tonight? I loved how all of those scenes involved Mer or Der in some way...And I just LOVE that melody!!

* LOL at Meredith grilling Lexie on how Cristina was acting and how Mer got up and ran when she found out Cristina was singing and then went and gave her a kick in the rear...Even though she had to be self deprecating to do so.

* First favorite scene of the night: Meredith and Derek doing the procedure together and Derek telling her to slow down, than having her look at him throughout the entire thing...."Look at me...Don't look at the machine, look at me....Slowly...." Eye contact the entire time and I loved how he still calms her down like no one else can. "We're standing on the moon, Dr. Grey" I don't think I was breathing the entire time!

* Dr. Bailey bringing her form to Webber... "Dr. Shepherd was just a moment of weakness...for both of us! ROTFLMBO!!!!!!! I heart Bailey and how she let Webber have it! Go Bailey!!!!!!!!! :D

* Bailey's speech to the nurses about Mark was hysterical!!!!!! I loved it!!!!

* Hahn and Callie...I STILL don't know where the writers are going with that!

* Mer: "Totally in sync like we were one person.." She was practically glowing! And Derek...He's SOOOO not into Plot Device! It can't be any more obvious!

* Der: "I slept with Rose and thought about Meredith the entire time...." Okay, didn't want him to ever sleep with her BUT...HE didn't initiate it, HE didn't enjoy it, HE had his mind on Mer the whole time and WE didn't have to see it! Thank you, Shonda!! Let's just remember too that the ONLY reason she slept with him was to prove Mark wrong...It was only on her mind because Mark got to her. It had NOTHING to do with love for Derek.

* Alex being a bit "fatherly" was awesome and how he let those kids go into the isolation bubble and be with their mom....AWESOME!

* Kudos to George for standing up to Webber...George has a spine and I love when he shows that!!

* Second favorite scene: Derek bringing the bottle of champagne to Mer and saying they would open it "when they succeed" Yep! Succeed they will! And they will open that for their victory dance...LOVED his pep talk!!! Patrick was AMAZING in that scene!!! AMAZING!!

* Love when Cristina finally opened up about how she really felt about Burke's success...I felt for her! She cried! She's not an emotional person and my heart broke for her. Sandra gave an awesome performance.

* Poor Bailey!!

* Adele and Richard back together!! Woo hoo!! :)

* "The tragic patient dies alone when the love of his life is in the next room...That's YOU." Yep! She "died" while he was right out in the hall RIGHT outside the door!

" "Do you KNOW why he's not with you....You're scared. YES!!! NOW we're getting somewhere and Meredith KNOWS it! That's why she walked out...It hit home and she ran...She's scared. I can't wait to see her actually confront that and deal with it!

Yep! I liked it! Progress in SO MANY ways for everyone! I'm lovin' it!! Can't wait to see what next week brings!! :)

ANOTHER Strike for Hollywood?

I just read that Hollywood producers have walked away from negotians with the Screen Actors Guild.

Tomorrow the smaller union the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists will go to the bargaining table and they are expected to reach a deal quickly. If that is the case, SAG is going to have to decide if they strike without the support of that union (which includes about 70,000 people. SAG has about 120,000 people and the two unions share about 44,000 dual members).

I personally think that if AFTRA reaches a deal quickly that SAG should see where they can get breaks in other areas of their contract. I don't think a strike would be supported what with SO many actors being shared by BOTH unions. Now, if AFTRA and SAG were still unified and acting as one, I could see where a strike might have a larger affect, but without the support of AFTRA, I don't think a strike would do much other than put crew and other production staff out of a job again, damage struggling shows TRYING to get enough steam to be picked up for another season and hurt even the popular shows who are still struggling to get their audiences back from the previous strike and pull their ratings up. Not to mention putting endless reruns or reality t.v. back on the air again....Every single show back from the writers strike is struggling right now. Last week, ratings for every show were at an all time low. Another strike would certainly only do futher damage

I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER STRIKE!!! This last one was hard enough and I was a firm supporter of the writers and their cause. It's rumored that producers have said they will return to the table with SAG on May 28th. I really think right now a lot is riding on what agreement (if any) AFTRA comes to. As I've said, the support of that union (or lack of) could be what determines whether or not there will be a strike.

Let's pray a settlement is reached on ALL sides by the time SAG and AFTRA's contract expires on June 30th...Or get ready to pull out the dvd's again to satisfy our t.v. craving during another strike.

God IS in the details!

This was sent to me recently and by the time it was in awe, once again over God's Hands in the details of His Creation! His Mark is truly and literally within ALL of us!

(You'll need to pause my music to hear the video)

"Made of Honor" Review

First, let me just say that I don't think I have ever gone to see a movie on the night it opens--Ever. And Patrick Dempsey is the ONLY actor I would brave crowds like that for--The ONLY actor! And.....It was SO worth it!

I don't want to reveal too much because I know most people haven't seen it yet and I don't want to give anything away, but I wil say that Patrick is hysterical in it! I laughed throughout the entire movie. One of the great things about Patrick I think is that it all seems so natural to him...Of course, he's an actor so it's his job to make it look natural...but I've watched movies at times where it's almost uncomfortable to watch because it seems they are trying to force themselves into character. Not so with Patrick.

My best friend and I talk all the time asbout how Patrick's facial expressions can totally make the scene...That's what this movie did...There were times I was cracking up simply at his facial expressions.

I wasn't too impressed with Michelle Monahan as Hannah. Honestly, I kept thinking that Kimberly Williams Paisley would have fit the role better. I think the two look very similar and I loved the chemistry she had with Patrick in Lucky 7. I think Michelle was okay, don't get me wrong...but she reminded me so much of Kimberly Williams Paisley look wise throughout the movie that I kept trying to put her in the role. If Patrick ever reads this (I know, fat chance) he probably won't appreciate that. Sorry, Patrick.

Busy Phillips was also in the movie (she played Audrey on Dawson's Creek, and most recently Hope on E.R.) I liked her in both of those and liked her in this but hated her character (which was the idea, I think). She played it well and it was great to see her again...Happy she made it to the big screen. (She might have already made it to the big screen, but I don't remember seeing her in any big movies before).

The scenes shot in Scotland were beautiful...I can understand why Patrick has raved about it in all his interviews. And I LOVED listening to the scottish accents (I have a think for accents)!

The music in it was great. I'll definitely be getting the soundtrack.

There were times I was surprised the rating was only PG 13. There was no nude scenes (Patrick filmed one but it was cut in order to keep the PG 13 rating. Sorry, ladies. Perhaps we'll see the deleted scenes on the dvd). But there was some pretty crude language at times that I'm surprised didn't up the rating anyway. We DO however get shirtless scenes so perhaps that'll keep you guys smiling.... :) And Patrick's character has a love for dogs in the movie which I found adorable!

For fellow Grey's fans...There are at least THREE things I noticed in the movie that I thought was sort of a nod to Derek...One of them he "has a thing for" on Grey's, the second was something he told Meredith he LIKES toward the end of of the last episode of season one to which Mer replies, "I bet you do!" (although that something is not EXACTLY what the movie this is referring to but once you see it, you'll get it) and third other one is pretty obvious that I'm sure when you hear it you'll know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. That's all the hints I'm giving...After you see it, we'll see if you catch them (and who knows...Maybe some that I missed)! I actually practically gave one away already. *wink* And the hints were given in random order by the way. All of them very subtle (If you're not a Grey's watcher, you catch them but I definitely thought they were nods to Grey's (or perhaps I look at it to deep) but I found them endearing anyway. :) We'll see what others think after they watch!

I LOVED it! Really loved it! The hopeless romantic that I am was in Heaven with this movie...Will I go see it again....Already have plans to do so! ;)

Thoughts for Grey's Anatomy episode 4:13 "Piece of My Heart

These ARE spoilerish so if you haven't seen the show yet and don't want to be spoiled, leave now and come back later!

Alrighty....Here we go in no particular order.....

• FINALLY we know Derek's middle name.....THANK YOU, ADDISON (Okay, and the writers too) I have read SO many fanfics that have just stuck a middle name in there and it always irked me that we didn't know his middle name. Christopher happens to be one of my favorite names...Up until tonight I personally had always thought his middle name could be Michael. I had nothing to back that up...It just flowed well of the tongue for me...Derek Michael Shepherd...But now that I've been repeating his real middle name to myself for the past hour, I like it!!! Derek Christopher Shepherd...It works! It flows! I like it!!! Now...Meredith's middle name....Hmmm...Do we know? Have they ever said? Thoughts on what YOU think it could be? I'm just so happy we know Derek's!!! Personal highlight of the show for me! Score for Shonda!
  
• The elevator scene with Derek...Followed by Mer...Followed by Addison...Followed by Plot Device (aka Rose). LOVED the way Addison was practically giving the back of Plot Device's head a "go somewhere" look! Practically boring holes into it!!! Go Addison!!! And then Mark's reaction when he saw who was on the elevator....HA!!!!!!! Loved it!!! Cracked up at the comment he gave!! I kept trying to imagine all of them reading this in the script at the table read! I'm sure THAT was fun!!!
  
• Izzie really got on my last nerve tonight (but then again, what else is new). Hahn was the same for me. I REALLY do not get why she is so rude to Cristina. I thought a lot of that was uncalled for.
  
• So....Derek and Addison...Even SHE knows Derek is fooling himself trying to get over Meredith....I don't really think Mer expects greatness JUST from him....I think she's still dealing with her mommy issues and needs to find greatness in HERSELF as well.
  
• Loved that Cristina mentioned the drowning. Granted, it was just a passing comment, but I think (or at least I REALLY hope) that subject will come into play more in the remaining three episodes as Meredith and Derek work their way toward each other. Patrick mentioned some emotional episodes and I hope all of that is talked about between them!
  
• Mer poking her head in to rant to her therapist...Loved it! At least she confronted that with someone instead of avoiding it. Progress!
  
• Bailey broke my heart tonight. I liked the scene with her and Addison.
  
• My thoughts were everywhere concerning Alex tonight...First I wanted to slap him for being a jerk to Rebecca (not that I like her, but still...he had responsibilty there) and then I wanted to hug him when he teared up in the OR. Alex doesn't do that and I love that the writers are peeling some of his layers back. Wonder what's going to happen when it is learned Rebecca is not pregnant. Guess this is a way for her to be written off the show.
  
• I cracked up at Addison using a McName!!! That was great!!
  
• I could have gone ALL season without hearing "heavy petting, lots of tongue" coming from Plot Device's mouth...Blech! Did NOT need, nor did I WANT to hear that.
  
• On the upside....NO Derek/Plot Device interaction. LOTS of Derek/Meredith interaction! THAT'S the kind of equation I LIKE!!!
  
• The Meredith and Derek scene at the end...The "look"--THEIR look. No two do that better than Patrick and Ellen! The way he shook her hand...Yep...It's coming...I can taste the reunion already!
  
• I love when we get to see Derek interact with his patients! He's so great with them!
  
• More great songs tonight!!
  
• Addison....All she did was float from one situation to the next. She didn't really offer anyone any huge insight. I was hoping SHE would be the major catalyst for the Meredith/Derek reunion. PR stunt for Private Practice is what I chalk it up to. Not sure how effective it will be but here's hoping!
  
• I did like the fact that she seemed to be on the side of Meredith....And she scored at least one point with me when she called Plot Device "that doe eyed little thing..." :D
  
• The previews for next week already have my Mer/Der lovin' heart beating a little faster....
  

There's SO much good stuff still coming before the season is over...And since I know (and those who are up to date on spoilers also know) the direction things are headed...I'm just going to sit back and enjoy seeing HOW they get there!


Thoughts/comments are always welcome!

Thanks, Comments, and just plain babble

Just wanted to thank Amanda for making my beautiful new header and helping me give my blog it's own special flair! I love it. Thank you so much, Amanda! Love you girl!

New post coming tonight after Grey's Anatomy. At my sister's request (she says she wants to know)....I will start leaving my thoughts here as well as my Dempsey Devotion myspace page and people that don't have access to myspace at work (like my sister) can still read my thoughts and comment on them here, if you like. I'd LOVE to hear what you think! You all know I have LOADS to say after the show (Kara especially gets the brunt of it, but she still loves me anyway). Anyway, a post WILL be up sometime tonight...Probably very late as I have one other show I watch AFTER Grey's (which is E.R. LOST gets put on hold until the next day, otherwise I'd never get to bed) before I make it back to my computer to re-watch my tape of Grey's and blog while doing so...Nonetheless, I'll let you know when it's up.

Speaking of letting you know...I have a question about that, are you guys okay with me letting you know every time I blog or would you rather I sent one notification out at the end of the week telling you it's been updated? I can do either...I know I'm not blogging a lot right now but I expect that to change shortly and might be blogging several times a week, I don't want to annoy you guys daily with e-mails if that's not what you want, but if you want to be updated at the end of the week (if I've updated at all) I can do that. Or I can keep e-mailing every time I update.

Leave comments and let me know what you think. I really do appreciate your interest and I hope to blog start blogging more often...About anything and everything. :) So let me hear your take on the notifications and we'll go with what most people want.

Again....Standing ovation for Amanda!!! I love my new look and thank you for it!

See you guys tonight!!