I Have A Dream...

I blog today with a mixture of things on my mind, I use writing and this blog as my outlet so I hope you'll bear with me today as I just kinda dump the things on my mind here.

I have a dream. Meeting Patrick Dempsey. And as you may have read my reasons are very personal. I often feel guilty for having this particular dream. There are so many other things I should want more, but I don't. I want this more than I think I've ever wanted anything. And I have no idea why, of all the thing I DO want in life: a great job that I love--preferably in the entertainment industry, to fall in love, to get married...Of ALL the things I want, THIS is the thing I want the most, THIS is the one that I beg God for in the late hours of the night, THIS is the one that I dream about (literally), and THIS is the one that instantly pops into my head whenever anyone asks, "what are your dreams and goals?" I know people are reading this rolling their eyes as they read this, but I'm just sharing my heart right now. I'm trying to be honest. I have no idea why this trumps everything else that I wish for, but it does. I want this to happen so badly. Perhaps part of the reason may be because there is something deep down that won't be healed until this happens. I not only want it, It seems to be a need as well. Whatever the case, this is a very frusturating dream to have.....

It's frustrating because I hear and see so many times that if you work hard enough, if you want it badly enough, then all of your dreams can be reached. However, I don't know if my dream falls into that same category. When your deepest dream is to meet someone, it really seems to be out of your hands...It's not one of those things like a test where if you study hard enough, you'll pass it, or if you just keep working at it, you'll get that college diploma, or that promotion at work. Yes, there are certain things you can do to make your appreciation for this person known, and hope they get the message somehow, some way. But beyond that, there's nothing I can do.

The only thing I can do is try my best to pay it forward and hope and pray that God does the rest. The only way this will ever happen is if God makes a way. I can't work my way toward it, I can't study in order for it to happen, it is out of my hands totally and that often leads to me just going to God often throughout the day, praying that He makes a way for Patrick and I to meet one day. And I have to believe that He will. I HAVE to believe that He would not cause me to want something this badly if He did not intend to make it happen. I HAVE to believe. I HAVE to keep praying. I HAVE to believe that it's only a matter of time before my story DOES get to Patrick. I have to believe that it's only a matter of time before I can thank him personally.

I have a BIG dream, but I serve a BIG God and He WILL make it a reality!