You hear me talk a lot about dreams and how I believe God has put a very specific dream in my heart. I haven't been very specific in what that dream is for fear of being judged and told how I need to dream differently or how I need to "get real." I was reading Liz Jordan's blog today and she was talking about how we need to say our dreams out loud. And she challenged us (readers and listeners...She's the afternoon host of KSBJ) to do just that. As I was reading her blog, my palms started to sweat. I've been thinking of blogging and doing this very thing...Telling you all my dream and the reasoning behind it. I have not done so until now because telling you all of this makes me feel vey vulnerable but I pray that in sharing this, you come away with a better understanding of why this particular dream is so important to me.
My dream is to meet Patrick Dempsey and to thank him personally for the life saving impact he has had in my life.
I know I would not be here today had it not been for his story. You've read it in my own story how he was giving an interview and what he had to say in that interview pulled me out of a depressed state when I was having a difficult time knowing why I should keep going, He showed me why through sharing his own struggles and giving me hope in the process.
I didn't know who Patrick Dempsey was at the time. I knew very little about his McDreamy character because I was just getting into the show at the time this took place so when I saw this interview, I wasn't seeing his character, I was seeing him...Patrick Dempsey, being real, being imperfect, making himself vulnerable by what he was sharing, and in doing so saving my life. I had gone to bed endless nights prior to seeing this interview begging for hope that I was not alone in my struggles (again, see my story for those details). I started watching that interview not looking for anything but entertainment and to learn more about this person. I did not start the interview looking for an answer to those prayers, in fact, I watched it to try and get away from the thoughts whirling in my head. But as I watched and listened to the interview, the hope and reassurance that I spent nights begging for was staring back at me in Patrick Dempsey. When you look at a person and see yourself, and then you look at them and see that they made it through the same thing you did, that they are better off, and that you are not alone...It changes you. His words breathed new life and perspective in me night and I've never been the same since.
Patrick saved my life that night and it was all because God had lined everything up perfectly. He wrote Patrick's story knowing it would save me, he heard my prayers all those nights that I spent begging for a reason, he got me interested in Grey's probably for the sole purpose of seeing Patrick and getting me at least interested in his character so that I would "just happen" to stumble upon an interview about the REAL Patrick Dempsey and God knew that was what would pull me back and change my life.
Patrick showed me what is possible. His honesty helped me believe in myself again and the difference I can make in someone's life simply by being real and genuine about who I am. Because of Patrick, I will never again doubt the impact one person can make. I call it The Dempsey Difference (corny perhaps, but it sums it up for me).
Since that night in September of 2006, I have ached to thank Patrick. Even I sometimes wonder why I want it as badly as I do. And while I think that this started out as one of those, "It would be amazing to meet him and thank Patrick one day" types of things. Something that would just be cool if it happened, the more I prayed about it and thought about how life altering it was and the impact he made, the more I feel like this is something that needs to happen because there still seems to be something deep down that won't heal until I'm able to do this. I started off wanting this, and now I think I NEED it as much as I want it. I pray for it daily, I dream about it weekly, and I just have to believe that God would not make me want something this badly if He did not have plans to make it happen.
I have done several things to try and put actions behind my faith and help make this dream happen. Lord knows it would have been a lot simpler for me to thank a friend or someone from my church. Instead, He has chosen to use one of the most sought after people in Hollywood to be a lifeline. It makes this dream very difficult to attain. The people people I have contacted to try and help get my story to Patrick probably think I am just another fan. I can only pray that God intervenes, sees the efforts I have made, and does what I cannot. And that somehow, some way, my story will get to Patrick and I WILL get to thank him personally and share with him how his story changed my own.
"And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, cause these words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you'll use them however you want to." ~Anna Nalick~
No comments:
Post a Comment