Letting Go

I believe that we have to meet God halfway....We can believe and believe God for that job, or that house, or that husband or wife but we can't just sit there and then expect for it to drop into our laps without US having to do some work. I think our efforts are a way of putting action behind our faith. I created this blog with the thought that God was up to MAJOR things in my life and that when those things happened, THIS was where I would share those things...I could have waited until those things happened and then shouted them from the rooftops with a mass e-mail, but this blog was a small way for me to put a bit of action behind what I believe were some great things unfolding for me and I wanted to have this ready.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning (having not fallen asleep until 2) and made a decision. I will not be taking any further action to make my dream (at least my most heartfelt one) a reality. I knocked on another door Sunday night and really fell as though now, my two most promising lines have been cast into the water (fishing analogy...I have no idea why because I don't fish)I've done all I know to do and now all I can do is wait, pray and see what happens.

It was a really tough thing to do at five in the morning...I think I know deep down that Sunday night was my last REAL chance to make it happen and so waking up and the first thought in my head being.... "it's time to stop" was tough. Until today, I always knew that if I knocked on one door and it didn't open, there was another one waiting to be knocked on...I didn't know it then, but I know now....Sunday was my last door. And now, I just wait and pray that I did enough. That one door will open.

I left my dream on the alter this morning. I cried, I prayed, and I begged God and pleaded my case one last time and then I left my dream and all my efforts in His Hands. I don't know why it was so hard to do...Certainly God's hands are the BEST Hands for my dreams, it just feels as though I've worked so so so hard and now there's nothing left to do but pray that you did enough, that you heard God's direction clearly enough and that you are on the right track.

It's like you study months and months and months for that one test, you take the test and then you sit for an hour before making any move to turn it in because as long as you still have it, you can go back through and make changes, but once you hand it over to the proctor...That's it. It's done. No turning back.

Letting go is hard...I could put my Jesus mask on and say that because I knew I was giving it to Jesus that it was simple, but I can't do that. I sit here with tears in my eyes just typing this knowing that I did the right thing but still struggling with it.

When the time is right, I will be more specific about what I asked of God and the steps that I did take, until then and unless there is something specific to share about a breakthrough in this area it is something I doubt I will discuss a lot more for awhile...At least here. It was difficult just typing this up.

When something does happen I will share but I'm sure you guys are probably tired of hearing me go on and on about it so I'm going to try and be sensitive to that because I want you guys to keep coming here. All that I ask is that you pray as I wait. Thanks.

Another post coming tonight...It's one I won't send out an e-mail for because I doubt very many of you are interested, but if you are, check back tomorrow (or later tonight) for another post on an entirely different topic.

Until then....