My Testimony

Born too early for some, but God's timing is perfect

I am the youngest. My sister Kimberly, my only sibling, is three years older than I am. I was born on August 15, 1981....I wasn't supposed to arrive until October 31. Being born two and a half months early, I weighed less than one pound at birth and was flown almost immediately from Huntsville to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. That was where I spent my life up until my original due date. I wasn't supposed to survive, but God is a God of miracles, and He had plans for me.

Rolling and Living with Cerebral Palsy

Due to my early arrival, I have a disability known as Cerebral Palsy. I could give you a long medical explanation as to what that is, but the simplest way I know to explain it is to say that because I was born so early, my brain did not have time to teach my legs how to work properly, so I have CP.

CP comes in various forms and can affect people in a variety of ways, in my case, I only have CP in my legs and that is why I walk with a walker. I use a wheelchair for longer distances, and if you ever saw me on campus, then you noticed my red scooter. I really only use my wheelchair about 1 percent of the time, the other 99 percent I'm on my walker. When I do walk, I walk with a noticeable limp because one of my legs is shorter than the other. I've had four surgeries, all of them orthopedic, my last of which was back in 1997 to place steel rods on each side of my spine to correct scoliosis. I have told my parents that unless it is a situation where I will die unless I have surgery, that I do not want anymore operations. Four is enough. The only other way CP affects me is that it causes me to jump at EVERYTHING! Ask anyone who has ever gone to the movies with me, they'll tell you that they probably ended up with a lap full of popcorn. I seriously thought something was wrong with me, I jump at someone coughing or sneezing....Seriously! I told my mom about it years ago and she told me that people with CP do startle easily so that really eased my mind! Doesn't make the embarrassment of jumping all the time go away. Seriously, that's one of the things I hate most about my disability. Mentally, I am fine. CP has no affect on me mentally at all.

A "Secret Ambition" revealed

I became a Christian at the age of eleven. two years prior to this, a favorite baby-sitter of ours was over one night and had brought a tape of her favorite music artist. We listened to the tape and a song entitled, "Secret Ambition" by Michael W. Smith came on. I listened to the words but had really no idea what they meant so I asked Kim (our baby-sitter, not my sister, Kimberly) to explain it to me and she did. I had tons of questions for her after that every time she came back to baby-sit and even took a copy of the song to my third grade class for "show and tell" one day, not knowing teachers weren't supposed to talk about that sort of thing in class. I still loved the song, but still didn't really understand the meaning behind it.

Two years later my cousin, sister, and I attended a church fellowship at my cousin's church in Dallas. During the evening worship time, a music video was played that portrayed Jesus and His life before crucifixion, and also some very realistic images of Christ being crucified. The music video was the one made for the song "Secret Ambition." Right then and there, everything clicked into place. I knew the meaning behind that song and what Christ had done for me! I asked Christ into my heart that night and was baptized about three weeks later, my sister did the same. It means so much now to look back and say that my sister and I were baptized on the same day, and that we will always have each other as witnesses to that time.

Made with a purpose

I had never really given my CP much thought. It's part of my life, I've never known anything different. I was at church camp in the summer of 1999 when a guy there revealed to me that his brother had been diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy just a few days before camp started. He told me that he had been very down and that he had watched me as I dealt with situations during the week, he said that in seeing me deal with my limitations so well, he had new hope and faith that his brother would be able deal with his just as well. I had no idea he had been watching me that closely all week, but it was then that I realized God had created me the way He did for a reason! He wasn't creating me and then said, "Oops! Didn't mean for that to happen!" God doesn't say, oops!

Psalm 139:13-16 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

God knew EXACTLY what He was doing, and He created me perfectly imperfect!

My life has not been smooth sailing (my college years were especially difficult). I cling daily to the promise of GREAT plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and know that my life is not my own. I pray daily that the way I live reflects Him clearly and that He uses me in whatever way He sees fit to help reach others. The journey isn't always easy, but God promises that in end, it WILL be worth it!